


Running from Myself

by asroarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, POV Bellamy, Pining!Bellamy, Road Trips, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smut, Unrequited Love, if that's a thing, slow burn smut, that's not all that unrequited, the biggest villain here is miscommunication, well sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:22:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15037625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asroarke/pseuds/asroarke
Summary: “People don’t just up and decide to leave home, Clarke. I know that a lot has happened this year,” he explained, hating the way her lips twitched at those words. Her father’s death wasn’t that long ago, and he knew it hadn’t been easy for her to live alone in that house with her mother. It seemed like Finn cheating on her was the final straw and she just needed to get out. “You’re too smart and pragmatic to just take off without warning unless you’re trying to get away from something.”“Well, maybe I stole the idea from you,” she said, stealing a momentary cold glance at him before fixing her eyes back on the road. “Although, I did it better because I actually bothered to say goodbye to my friends.”The Road Trip AU no one asked for where Bellamy and Clarke are both running from their old lives and just so happen to be running in the same direction.





	1. Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wanheda_two_heda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanheda_two_heda/gifts).



> I'm just guessing that this will be three chapters, but it might get longer. I've been working on this for the past week or so, and it was originally going to be a one shot but then I hit 15k was decided I needed to break this up. There's a lot of smut in this, so if that's not your thing, I'm sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, here's an angsty fic where our two favorite hot messes try to run away from their problems but aren't very good at it. A lot of life talks while driving. A lot of sleeping in the back of Bellamy's car, very little platonic sleeping too. The pining!Bellamy is strong with this one.

Bellamy was on the verge of drifting off to sleep when he heard his phone ringing. “Fuck,” he muttered as he pushed himself up. He peered over at the caller ID, and Clarke Griffin’s name lit up on his screen. Panicked that she might be in trouble, he picked up immediately. “Are you okay?” were the first words out of his mouth.

He was already looking around for his keys to go and get her when she said, “Yeah, I’m okay.” Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows. Her tone didn’t sound _okay_ , but she didn’t sound like she was in immediate danger either. “I was calling to ask for a favor.”

“Is the favor something I can do tonight? Because I’m sure Octavia told you I’m leaving town in the morning,” he said, probably a bit too sharply. It was leftover anxiety about the fact that he was about to move across the country in the first place. It was his decision, of course… but not one he was that happy about. Despite his urgings, Octavia moved in with Lincoln and had no plans to start college in the fall. The falling out that transpired after their hundredth argument left Bellamy without a reason to stay in Arkadia. His mother was dead, his sister wanted nothing to do with him, and all his friends fell out of touch with him when he dropped out his senior year so that he could get a job to take care of his sister.

“You’re going out to California, right?” she asked, and Bellamy instantly felt guilty about thinking that he had nothing to stay here for. He had Clarke… but she wasn’t his, nor would she ever be. Girls like Clarke Griffin didn’t end up with guys like him.

“Yeah,” he replied, resting his head back against the headboard in Murphy’s guest room.

“Can I come with you?”

“What?” he blurted out, probably a little too loudly. But why the hell would Clarke go on that painfully long road trip across the country with him? Her life was here. Her boyfriend was here. Her mother was here. She was going to school here in the fall.

“I just… Look, Wells moved out to California last year and I want to visit him,” she offered, but he still wasn’t buying it. “I’ll split the gas bill with you. We can take turns driving. And it’ll be easier to get there quicker if you aren’t exhausting yourself by making that long trip all alone.”

He rolled his eyes. Of course, the princess had prepared a practical proposal to sway him. “Clarke, you can’t just up and decide that you are going to leave town,” he muttered.

“Why not? That’s what you’re doing,” she snapped back, and he gritted his teeth. She wasn’t wrong.

Her defensive response did reveal that there was more to her plan to go out to California than she let on. Clarke only turned this juvenile in arguments when she felt like her back was up against a wall. But she wouldn’t just tell him what was going on. It wasn’t like they had been close lately. She got caught up in her senior year and dating Finn Collins, and Bellamy didn’t really have much time to talk to her outside of the few times she would come over for a sleepover with Octavia.

“I wasn’t exactly planning to stop at a bunch of nice hotels along the way. I was going to be crashing in my car,” he said, trying a different tactic. “It’s not going to be a comfortable trip. Probably less so with two people.”

“Okay, so are you saying no?” she got right to the point, and he threw his head back.

“I’m just worried you’re being rash,” he sighed. It hadn’t been that many months since her dad died, and he had vaguely heard that there was some kind of drama going on with her boyfriend at the moment. This just felt like Clarke was running away from something, and he didn’t want to enable that.

“Fine. I’ll drive myself,” she said flippantly.

“No,” he snapped quickly, clenching his eyes shut. Clarke was just eighteen. And as smart as she was, it wasn’t exactly safe for an eighteen-year-old girl to be travelling across the country on her own. “If you’re really determined to travel across the country, you would be safer riding with me.” At least he could keep an eye on her, and maybe he could figure out what was wrong.

“Good, because you know I don’t have a car,” she said, and he could hear the smirk in her voice. He bit his lip, hitting his head on the back of the headboard repeatedly. She played him too well. She knew his protective instincts would drive him to agreeing to let her ride with him. Maybe if he hadn’t been so rattled by her he would have remembered that Clarke didn’t have a car and been able to call her bluff. “What time are we leaving tomorrow?”

 

* * *

 

Clarke plopped into his car with two coffees in her hands and her hair thrown up messily into a bun. She didn’t bother putting on makeup, which meant that Bellamy could see just how tired she was. He knew better than to push the subject, reminding himself that he had an entire road trip to slowly get the answer out of her.

They made small talk for a few minutes, Clarke asking general questions about his new job in California and tactfully avoiding the subject of Octavia. When conversation started to lull, Bellamy turned on one of his favorite radio talk shows, and Clarke drifted off to sleep.

He had been driving for about an hour when the phone calls started. Clarke sleepily reached over, checked her phone, before declining the call. This repeated three times before Bellamy snatched her phone out of her reach to see who was calling. “Why are you avoiding your boyfriend?” he huffed, handing the phone back over to her.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she mumbled as she declined the call, and then curled back up against the window and went back to sleep. Bellamy shook his head, trying to figure out how he didn’t know that she and Finn Collins had split. Though, their breakup gave a better motivation for Clarke wanting to cross the country to go be with Wells, who Bellamy had always thought was a bit in love with Clarke… not that Bellamy could blame the kid. It was Clarke Griffin, after all.

The phone calls stopped but were replaced by texts. Clarke reached over to silence her phone before going back to sleep, but Bellamy could still see her phone light up repeatedly. Finn was determined… Bellamy had to give him that.

When he pulled over to get gas, Clarke hopped out of the car to go to the bathroom. His eyes dropped down to her phone, his curiosity getting the better of him. He didn’t unlock her phone, though he likely still knew her password, and just looked at the previews of each of Finn’s texts. They were all paragraphs long full of apologies and requests for her to just listen to his explanation. “Fucking Collins,” he mumbled as he put her phone back where he found it, before hopping out of the car to fill it up.

Clarke came back with an energy drink in hand, and he tossed the keys over to her. When he got into the passenger side, she was swiping through her phone, dismissing each individual message from Finn. “What happened with Finn?” he asked, and she put her phone back in the cupholder.

“We broke up,” she said distantly.

“There’s more to it than that, princess. He’s blowing up your phone,” Bellamy pointed out, and she put the car into drive.

“Well, he should blow up his other girlfriend’s phone,” she muttered before reaching over to turn up the radio, signaling this conversation was over. With a groan, Bellamy pulled out his own phone and texted Jasper Jordan to ask about what went down with Finn Collins, since apparently this was as much information as Clarke was going to give him.

He stayed quiet in his seat as he read text after text from Jasper, breaking down how Finn’s girlfriend Raven showed up out of the blue, and Clarke had no idea that he had been dating someone else for an entire year before he and Clarke even met. Bellamy was pissed that he hadn’t heard about this yet, since apparently everyone else knew what happened. Octavia could have at least mentioned it to him. She knew that Bellamy had a soft spot for Clarke and would want to check up on her.

When Jasper was done telling him about Clarke’s screaming match with Finn and how Finn hadn’t left Clarke alone since, Bellamy tried to get comfortable and get some sleep… but he couldn’t. He was too busy worrying about Clarke, who still hadn’t said anything to him.

She got another text message and immediately pushed her phone into her hand. “Who is it?” she asked, and Bellamy bit his lip as he saw a text from Finn: _why did Jasper just tell me that you’re driving across the country with Bellamy Blake?_

“Finn,” he replied, cursing Jasper for spilling that to Finn. “He wants to know why you’re on this trip with me.”

“How the fuck did he know I was with you?” Clarke snapped, and he swallowed as he put her phone back into the cupholder.

“Okay,” he sighed, “I asked Jasper what happened between you and Finn and sort of told Jasper you were with me right now.”

“Why the fuck would you ask Jasper about that?” she groaned, hitting the wheel as she drove. Her eyes were fixed on the road ahead of them, but her jaw was tense.

“It wasn’t like you were going to tell me what happened with you and Finn,” he said defensively, although he knew he crossed a line by asking Jasper, and probably should have gone for a friend that gossiped less.

“You’re damn right I wasn’t going to,” she huffed, and he blinked a few times in confusion.

“Why not?” he asked. Sure, he and Clarke hadn’t been as close lately, mainly because he was too busy working and she was busy trying to get into college. Their lives took different turns after Bellamy’s mom died, and that was okay. What wasn’t okay was Clarke acting like she couldn’t talk to Bellamy about things like this.

“You would just say ‘I told you so’ and I’d never hear the end of it because you ended up being right about Finn,” she mumbled.

“First of all,” he snapped, leaning toward her, “I never said that Finn was going to cheat on you. Only an idiot would cheat on you, and as much as I hate that kid, I didn’t think he was an idiot. I just said he wasn’t good enough for you.” He remembered how annoyed Clarke was when he said that to her. He had heard about her and Finn through Octavia, but he had hoped that Clarke would figure out on her own that she deserved better than Collins. It wasn’t until they had been dating for a while that those words slipped out of his mouth, and she snapped back with a declaration that she loved Finn… which stung Bellamy a little too hard for him to pretend that this concern was only about Clarke being happy.

He had known that deep down there was a part of him that was always a little bit in love with Clarke. It was hard not to be. But it had been easy enough to push to the side. She was too young for him. She was his sister’s friend. She would always be more interested in guys like Finn Collins. She would never go for someone like Bellamy. Thus, she wasn’t an option for Bellamy. She was off limits, someone that he loved from afar and never dared to dream about what could have been.

But hearing her say that she loved Finn Collins, someone that Bellamy knew wouldn’t love her like she deserved to be loved, brought out the ugliest emotions within him. He was jealous. He was angry. He was frustrated. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it without losing Clarke completely.

“Do you think I wanted to be right about Finn?” Bellamy sighed when Clarke didn’t answer. “You’re one of a handful of people I give a damn about. I don’t like being right. Not when it means you get hurt,” he huffed, leaning back to cross his arms. “Look, I’m sorry I asked Jasper about what happened.”

“It’s fine,” she said through gritted teeth, which meant that it absolutely was not fine.

“I just wanted to know what you were running from,” he sighed.

“I’m not running from anything,” she muttered, and he rolled his eyes.

“People don’t just up and decide to leave home, Clarke. I know that a lot has happened this year,” he explained, hating the way her lips twitched at those words. Her father’s death wasn’t that long ago, and he knew it hadn’t been easy for her to live alone in that house with her mother. It seemed like Finn cheating on her was the final straw and she just needed to get out. “You’re too smart and pragmatic to just take off without warning unless you’re trying to get away from something.”

“Well, maybe I stole the idea from _you_ ,” she said, stealing a momentary cold glance at him before fixing her eyes back on the road. “Although, I did it better because I actually bothered to say goodbye to my friends.” Bellamy’s head whipped in her direction at those words. “I mean, if I hadn’t overheard Murphy at Grounders saying that you were moving out west, I probably wouldn’t have found out about it until you were already gone.”

“I got a better job offer and it was really sudden. It’s not like I purposefully—”

“It takes two seconds to send a text,” she interrupted. “A few minutes for a phone call. I feel like you could have sacrificed the time for someone who has been in your life for ten years and would be devastated to hear you’re moving away.” Her face was stoic and unmoving as she spoke, but her eyes and the breaking of her voice gave away how she really felt.

“I didn’t know…” he trailed off, trying to explain the real reason he didn’t tell her. The truth was he didn’t know that she still cared about him. They had hardly seen each other in the past few years. He was working two jobs, Clarke was finishing up school, he was too exhausted by the time he was done for the day to make much of an effort with his friends, and she was living her own life. It wasn’t the same anymore. He lost his mom, and everything changed for him, including how much time he was able to spend with the people he cared about. By the time he got over his grief and got used to how his life was now, Clarke, like many of his other friends, seemed different. She had boyfriends now and spent more hours studying and was all about packing her resume. The only time he saw her that wasn’t just in passing was after her father died. He took off work that day and just let Clarke sob into his shirt for a few hours. They barely spoke. He just held onto her for a bit.

“No, I guess you didn’t,” she mumbled with a coldness that made his chest pang.

“I didn’t know I had anyone else left that would care,” he sighed. “It’s not like I’ve been a great friend lately. I’ve been too busy fighting with O every chance I got.  Murphy and Miller are friends with me out of habit, but I’ve basically lost touch with everyone else, including you. I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself when I decided to leave, mainly because the only person who I thought would care was Octavia and she didn’t care anyway.”

“She does care,” Clarke interrupted. “She’s mad at you, but she does care. You know how stubborn and asinine Blake’s can be.” He narrowed his eyes at her as she smirked.

“Asinine?” he huffed, and her smirk grew.

“Sorry. Forgot to use smaller words so you could understand,” she teased, and he probably would have come up with a decent come back if he wasn’t so relieved to see her smiling and relaxing around him again. It felt just like being around her used to, even if just for a moment. So, he reached over and poked her in the side, causing her to squeal in reaction. “Bellamy Blake, I am driving,” she snapped.

“Is that what you call slamming on the brakes repeatedly?” he teased, and she reached over to smack his shoulder, but she missed since she couldn’t take her eyes off the road and hit his seat instead. “Nice hit, princess.” And that time, she didn’t miss when she reached over to smack his arm.

For once, it felt like nothing had changed. And he didn’t realize how much he had truly missed this.

 

* * *

 

Even after dragging their bags to the front, it was still uncomfortable in the back. He had laid the backseat down and put a few blankets down to try and trick himself into thinking it was the same as sleeping on an actual mattress. But the truth was that Bellamy was too tall for this to be comfortable. Admittedly, sleeping in his car wasn’t the best idea. It was free, though, and Bellamy needed to save as much as he could. He just didn’t originally plan on having Clarke Griffin lying next to him, which made it even more difficult to fall asleep.

She had an easier time. She curled up into a ball as far away from him as she possibly could, probably sensing that Bellamy was already itching for more physical space. He wished she had turned away from him when she fell asleep, mainly because seeing her relaxed, sleeping face made it hard for Bellamy to willingly close his own eyes. She wasn’t tense like before when they were talking about Finn. She didn’t look like she was running from anything. She looked more like the Clarke he knew before life got so damn complicated.

Eventually, his exhaustion won over and he fell asleep for a few short hours. He woke up a bit confused about where he was and why there was so much blonde surrounding him in the dark. He jerked his head up, seeing that he had shifted toward Clarke in his sleep, and, much to his surprise, Clarke had done the same. He was on his back now, and Clarke was curled into his side, her leg hiked over his. He could feel her quiet breathing against his neck, and his eyes fluttered shut at the sensation.

It took him a beat too long to realize that he should probably pull away from her. Clarke had begun to stir, and his entire body froze in panic. He closed his eyes quickly, pretending to be asleep as Clarke sleepily popped her head up to see how they had shifted in the night. “Fuck,” she murmured sleepily as he felt her get off him. He winced at the loss of contact as she slid away from him, already aching for her touch again.

 

* * *

 

The second day of driving was rough. They hit a storm early in the morning, and they had to pull over so that Bellamy could take the wheel because Clarke was struggling to drive in this weather. They were both a bit on edge even after Bellamy started driving just because they couldn’t see anything.

It took two hours to get out of the storm, and they drove far below the speed limit during the storm’s entirety. So, Bellamy was already behind schedule. Then, they hit construction traffic in the afternoon.

“I’m not even sure we made half the progress we were supposed to make today,” Bellamy groaned as he looked over the map. They had stopped at a diner, resolving to drive a few more hours before passing out at another truck stop.

“You said you left a little bit early, though. You planned to have a few days before you started your new job,” Clarke pointed out, and he huffed in response. “Getting a little behind schedule isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“You’re right,” he sighed. She was always right. “I should look at the bright side. This way, I got to listen to a few extra hours of 90’s boy bands.”

Clarke flung a fry at him from across the table, scrunching her face at him. “I don’t complain about what music you play,” she huffed.

“That’s because I play actual music,” he teased, and another fry came hurling at him.

“Watch it, Blake,” she warned, wagging her finger at him.

“What are you gonna do, princess?” he teased as she got a smaller fry ready to be thrown. “Real mature,” he muttered as he picked up his coffee to take a sip. This time when she threw it, it went down his shirt.

“Finally, after all these years, I have my revenge,” she said with a huge grin, and Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to figure out what she was referring to.

“What are you…” he mumbled before he remembered. “Are you kidding me? We were kids.”

“My dad was mad that we kept arguing and said that the next one to start a fight didn’t get dessert,” Clarke set the scene, and Bellamy threw his head back. She was literally still holding a grudge about something Bellamy did when her dad took them and Octavia to the county fair when they were kids. “I kept my mouth shut and didn’t talk to you. And what did you do?”

“Waited until your dad wasn’t looking and threw a French fry down your shirt,” he mumbled, and Clarke threw another fry at him.

“And then I yelled at you, and I was the one to get in trouble because no one saw you do it,” she huffed, and Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her.

“So, you’ve been plotting your revenge all these years and only just now were skilled enough to throw one fry down my shirt?” he smirked.

“Shut up. Let me have my victory,” she said defiantly before taking a sip of her drink.

“Wait,” he said, looking around at the fallen fries around him, “how many tries did it take for you to succeed?”

“I hate you,” she mumbled, and his smirk grew.

 

* * *

 

They managed to cross another border before resting for the night. Clarke was helping him make up the back so they could go to sleep when her phone started to ring. He expected her to ignore the call, just like she had been this whole trip whenever Finn called. But instead, she took it as she walked away from the car, and Bellamy just stood there frozen as he watched her face contort at the sound of Finn’s voice.

He sat at the edge of the trunk, watching Clarke as she paced in the distance. She was listening more than she spoke, looking like she was getting interrupted every time she tried to say something. When he looked back at the clock on the dashboard, he realized that they had only been on the phone for a few minutes, but it felt like he had been watching Clarke for hours.

A few seconds passed, and she hung up. He could see her wiping away tears and had to fight against his instincts to run up to her and hug her. There was a reason Clarke walked away from Bellamy to have this conversation, though. He needed to respect that. When she wanted comfort, she knew where he was.

It took a few minutes for her to come back to the car. “Let’s get some sleep,” she sighed as she climbed in, as if nothing just happened.

“Clarke.” Her head snapped up to look at him, knowing exactly what he wanted to talk about.

“It’s nothing. He gets it now. He’s gonna stop calling me,” she explained, and Bellamy bit down on his lip as he locked the car up behind him. She fell into silence as she got comfortable on her side, and Bellamy did the same.

“You know you can talk to me about this, right?” he asked, turning his head to look at her.

“You don’t want to hear about Finn,” Clarke whispered as she adjusted her pillow.

She wasn’t wrong. Bellamy never wanted to hear about Finn. It was painful to hear about the first and only boy she had ever loved. But he couldn’t tell her that. “Yes, I do,” he lied.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows, looking down at her pillow. He waited for her to say something, but she sat there in silence for minutes, almost arguing about if she wanted to say anything. Bellamy was about to give up and close his eyes when Clarke murmured, “I loved him.”

“I know,” Bellamy said, ignoring the shaky feeling he got in his stomach as he thought about her words.

“But,” she added in, and Bellamy held his breath, “I’m relieved. I just… I wasn’t happy and didn’t realize that until after everything fell apart.”

He nodded silently as Clarke laid back down. He searched for words to comfort her, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. “It’s okay,” she murmured as she closed her eyes, reaching over to pat his arm. He let his hand rest over hers, offering her a small squeeze. “I’m better now, I promise.”

 

* * *

 

When Bellamy woke, he realized he had shifted again in his sleep. This time, he awoke to find himself on his side, pressed firmly against Clarke, who was facing away from him. He clenched his eyes shut, chastising himself for something that wasn’t entirely his fault. He had always been a bit of a cuddler. And it wasn’t like he could control what he did in his sleep.

He took a deep breath, trying to plan the easiest way to extricate himself from Clarke. Then, Clarke shifted beside him, pressing herself even tighter against him. Maybe it was just the brief friction of her ass pressing into him, or maybe it was because he was a bit overwhelmed by how soft she was against him… but Bellamy’s cock twitched in response to her unconscious movement. He clenched his jaw, cursing himself for becoming aroused just from the proximity of Clarke.

He pulled his hips away from her first, fearing he would wake her up. He tried to sit up so that he could scoot over, but Clarke gripped his hand. “Stay,” she mumbled sleepily, not even opening her eyes, “it feels nice.”

“Clarke,” he warned. “We’re not—”

“It’s just me, Bell,” she murmured as she tugged his hand, sleepily trying to pull him back toward her, clearly unaware of the effect she was having on him. Begrudgingly, he laid back down, keeping only his torso close to her so that she wouldn’t feel his erection. “Better,” she mumbled, and a small smile betrayed its away onto his face. She liked having him close to her, even if it was just a sleepy desire that she wouldn’t think better of until the morning.

He was starting to relax when Clarke shifted against him. She brushed up against his hardening cock and then froze. He bit down on his lip as she slowly turned her head to look back at him, her eyes wide now. “I’m sorry, I—” he tried to stutter out, because he felt like such a creep. Clarke just wanted to snuggle up against him, and he had to go and make it weird by being turned on by it.

“It’s okay,” she interrupted as she turned her head back. Bellamy tried to pull away again, but Clarke laced her fingers with him, holding him in place. “Don’t go.”

He let his head fall onto her shoulder, taking a deep breath as he pleaded for his erection to go away. He knew it wouldn’t be that easy, especially since this was _Clarke_ right beside him. His body was practically crying out in relief to have her this close to him.

She loosened her grip on his hand and seemed to be about to drift back to sleep. He tried to think about something other than Clarke being warm and soft and pressed against him, but his mind kept coming back to her. It didn’t help that he had spent two entire days with just her, hearing her laugh and argue all day. He had always been stuck on Clarke, but this trip made it harder for him to ignore that fact.

Her hand travelled to his wrist, as if she was still worried that he was going to pull away. Then, she rocked back against him, and Bellamy involuntarily gripped onto her waist. He clenched his eyes shut at the feeling of her bare skin beneath his fingertips, realizing that her shirt had been hiked up in her sleep. When she softly rocked against him again, a low, quiet _princess_ escaped his lips.

“Sorry, do you want me to stop?” she asked quietly.

“No,” he blurted out before he thought better of it. He should have told her to stop. Nothing good could come from the two of them teasing each other. She didn’t know that he was hopelessly in love with her. She didn’t know that his mind would be playing tonight over and over again when he missed her.

But he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Instead, he buried his face into her warm neck and pulled her hips tight against him. She was panting in rhythm with him as he rocked into her. “Do you like this?” he whispered quietly.

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly, and he bit down on his lip. He was making her feel good, and that realization went straight to his throbbing cock. He let his thumb trace the skin of her stomach a bit, choking down moans as he felt goosebumps form where he touched her.

Soft sighs fell off her lips with every brush of his erection against her. Her breathing became labored the longer they kept this up, and he was itching to help her take the edge off. He knew she wasn’t a virgin, but he had no idea how much experience she had with this kind of thing. He was scared to make her nervous, so he started off slow.

“Can I touch you?” he asked, his hand trailing up her stomach just a bit.

“Yeah,” she whispered back, and he let out a sigh of relief against her throat. He had always wanted to touch her like this. He resisted thinking about it as much as he could, because he felt kind of creepy when he did. She was his sister’s friend who didn’t think about him this way, so he shouldn’t be thinking about her like this either. But it was hard not to when she was so beautiful. She crept into his thoughts no matter what he did, making it impossible for him to ignore how he longed for her.

She sucked in a breath as his hand slid up her shirt. His hand felt a bit shaky as he cupped her breast, and he was only made more nervous by the quiet gasp that Clarke made when he touched her. He looked up at her, seeing her looking over her shoulder back at him, eyes wide and nervous.

“You’re so beautiful,” he reassured her, gently squeezing her perfect breast in his hand. He could feel it spilling out of his hand, and he had to muffle his own whimper against her neck. “You like this?” he murmured, praying that she would say yes. He loved touching her like this, even if this would probably be the only time he would touch her like this.

He looked up at her when she didn’t respond, and she nodded while biting down on her bottom lip. He let his index finger circle her nipple, feeling her shudder in response. “I just… I haven’t done a lot of stuff like this,” she confessed, her nervousness finally making sense.

“I’ve got you,” he promised right into her ear. “Just relax for me.”

She was still tense beside him, but she eased into his touch a bit more. “Feels so good,” he murmured into her neck as he cupped her breast again. “You fit perfectly in my hand.”

Clarke leaned back into him a bit more, making it easier for him to take her nipple between his fingers. She whimpered quietly as he pinched, arching her back as she rocked back against him. “Do that again,” she said almost like a question, as if he would say no to her. He pinched again, and this time she moaned. He buried his face into her neck, biting down on his lip as he rocked his hips against her. That moan was the sexiest noise he had ever heard in his life, and he was desperate to hear it again. “Fuck,” she whimpered as he gave her breast a tight squeeze, and he clenched his eyes shut as he tried to get himself back under control.

“Princess,” he murmured out of habit, and to his surprise, she grinded back against him again in response. His eyes fluttered open, a small smirk forming on his lips. “Do you like it when I call you that?” he whispered right into her ear, and she sucked in a breath. She nodded weakly, her lips parted as she did. “Good, princess,” he growled as he rocked his hips into hers again.

“Fuck,” she whispered. “I need…”

“What do you need?” he asked, desperate to give her whatever it was she needed. He just wanted to keep hearing these beautiful noises come out of her. It was all he needed.

“Fuck, I don’t know,” she sighed in frustration.

“Clarke, what do you like?” he asked, and she turned her head back to look at him, biting her bottom lip again. “Do you know what you like?”

“No… not really,” she said with furrowed eyebrows, and Bellamy paused his movements. “I mean, I’ve had sex but I never really…” she trailed off nervously, and Bellamy didn’t need her to finish that thought for him to realize what she meant.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Did he ever finger you?”

“He tried,” Clarke explained, and Bellamy clenched his jaw. Figures that Collins wouldn’t know how to take care of Clarke.

“Can I try?” he asked, and the skeptical look remained in her eyes. “I’ll stop if you don’t like it,” he promised, and she finally nodded along. He let his hand slip from her breast, trailing over her soft stomach. He could feel his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest, but all he could focus on was his need to make this good for her. “I’ve got you,” he murmured when he felt her tense as he reached her shorts. He moved his hand slowly into her shorts. He cupped her mound over her panties, clenching his eyes shut when he felt how warm and soaked she already was for him.

_For him_ , he thought again, his cock twitching at the idea that he was who worked her up like this. She wanted _him_. And the longer he rested his hand there, the more she squirmed against it to get some friction. “Bell,” she whined, desperate and needy for his touch.

“How long have you been wet like this for me, princess?” he asked as he slid her panties to the side. He ran a finger up her slit. “You want my fingers, pretty girl?”

His index finger traced her throbbing clit at a glacier pace, waiting for her answer. “Please,” she panted, leaning her head back to rest against his shoulder. He put a bit more pressure on her clit, rubbing circles into her as she writhed beside him.

“You’re doing so good,” he whispered as he got ready to press a finger inside her. He looked up to examine her face. Her eyes were shut, and her lips were parted as she leaned back against him, lost in the pleasure he was giving her. God, he wanted to kiss her right now. Instead, he fixed his eyes on her rapidly rising and falling chest, trying to distract himself from those lips he had always wanted to touch.

He pushed a finger inside her carefully. “Oh, God,” she whimpered once his finger was deep inside her.

“This okay?” he asked again.

“Uh-huh,” she whimpered as he slowly pulled his finger out. She was so tight around him as he thrust his finger back in, her cunt clenching around his finger hungrily. He took a deep breath as he continued this movement, trying not to think about how it would feel to have his cock where his finger was right now…

“So tight, princess,” he murmured into his neck as he picked up the pace. She was getting wetter by the second, stretching out a bit more that it was getting easier. “Think you can take another?”

Clarke peered back at him, eyes wide as she panted through her parted lips. “Maybe,” she whispered, not quite sure. He bit down on his lip as he pressed another finger inside, and Clarke’s hand gripped his forearm frantically. He paused, worried that it was too much. “No, don’t stop,” she whimpered. He smirked against her neck as he resumed his movements. Her hand clutched at his arm as his fingers dove in and out of her cunt. Moans escaped Bellamy’s lips every time her nails dug into his arm, desperately clinging for something to hold onto as she clenched around his fingers.

His palm rested over her clit, pulling her back against him as he rocked into her. “Taking my fingers so good, princess,” he cooed into her neck. “So good.” Her whimpers and moans echoed throughout the car, and he was biting down on his lip to control himself even though these were the sexiest noises he had ever heard. He could feel her getting close, and her whines were getting louder. “Just let go for me,” he murmured, and she kept her hand firmly on his arm, as if grounding herself. “I’ve got you, just let go.”

“Fuck,” she whimpered, and he could feel her pulsating around his fingers as he slowed his movements. “Fuck, fuck.”

“That’s it,” he whispered, popping his head up to look at the blissed-out expression on her face. Her eyes were fixed on him as small moans fell off her lips. Her pupils were dilated and her face was flushed, and she was just too beautiful like this. His eyes raked over her body, watching her squirm against his hand as her chest rose and fell rapidly.

Her body was overwhelmed with pleasure, and Bellamy did that to her. It wasn’t until he watched her ride out her orgasm, perhaps even her first ever orgasm, that it clicked in his head that this was real. He just worked Clarke up like that, after years of thinking he would never be anything more than a friend to her. Now, he had heard all her beautiful moans, had heard her cry out for him, had watched her fall apart for him… and he was awestruck as he watched her.

“I thought…” Clarke trailed off breathlessly as Bellamy pulled his hand out from inside her shorts. “Like before I thought I had… but that was the first time I ever—”

“Was it good?” he asked with a smirk, and she blinked up at him with a shy smile on her face. God, he’d keep making her fall apart like that if she wanted him to. Nothing in the world would ever compare to how perfect it felt to have her writhing in pleasure in his arms.

She nodded as she leaned her head back against him. He pressed himself against her back again, happily returning to their closeness from before. His cock was still throbbing, which wasn’t a surprise after the truly erotic sight of watching Clarke fall apart for him. “Oh, we need to take care of you too,” Clarke whispered, and Bellamy froze for a moment.

“It’s okay,” he stuttered out. “You really don’t have to.”

Clarke shifted so that she turned to face Bellamy, her face just inches away from his as she looked up at him. “You sure you don’t want me to?” she asked as her hand trailed down her stomach, and Bellamy just laid there, frozen and powerless, aching for her as she took her time reaching for his cock. When her hand grazed his cock over his shorts, a quiet whimper escaped his lips. “I want to take care of you too,” she whispered, and Bellamy’s eyes drifted to her lips as she spoke. She was looking down, not paying attention to the fact that Bellamy was struggling not to kiss her right now. Her lips parted as she slipped her hand past the elastic of his shorts, small breaths fanning across Bellamy’s face. And right as her small hand wrapped around his cock for the first time, she took her bottom lip between her teeth, and his cock twitched in her hand in response.

“Lay back,” she said, and he helped her get his shorts down. She was much more at ease with his cock in her hand than she had been when he began to finger her.

“You’ve done this before,” he realized, and she nodded along as she sat upright. God, he wanted to go punch Collins in the face. This girl had clearly gotten him off enough to know what she’s doing, but he hadn’t bothered to return the favor enough for her to be comfortable with receiving. He was gritting his teeth in frustration, fueling long held concerns that Finn wasn’t good enough for someone like Clarke. But when his eyes dropped down to his cock, his entire jaw relaxed again. Her small, pale hand was wrapped around his dark, thick cock, and the sight alone was nearly enough for him to lose control.

He laid there frozen, his eyes glued to her every movement. Bellamy was in a dream-like haze as he watched Clarke lick the palm of her hand before returning it to his cock. There was a focused look in her eyes as she leaned over, her hair still messy from sleep. Her shirt was loose enough that Bellamy could see down it, his eyes transfixed by just the smallest glimpse of her breasts. He was grateful that her eyes were trained on his cock as her hands slid up and down him. It meant that she didn’t see the way he was looking up at her, the way he was awestruck by just her touch, the way that if Clarke so much as gave him a glimmer of hope, he would confess every feeling he had for her that had been buried deep down over the years.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” she whispered, and he wondered if she was thinking about how he would feel inside her. He clenched his eyes shut, feeling himself thrust into her hand at that thought.

“You’re killing me, princess,” he murmured. She tightened her grip just a bit, practically ripping the guttural moan from Bellamy’s lips. “Please. Fuck, please, Clarke.”

“You’re close, aren’t you, Bell?” she asked, her voice low as she spoke. His eyes fluttered open, catching her looking right into his eyes as she stroked his cock.

“Yeah,” he moaned, not taking his eyes off hers, not breaking the electric tension in the small distance between them.

“Come for me,” she begged as she twisted her wrist. “Please,” she asked a bit quieter, her voice so soft that Bellamy felt something flip in his stomach in response.

Bellamy was only vaguely aware that words were flying out of his mouth, though he had no idea what he was saying or if he was even making sense. He didn’t really care. His body was crying out in relief as he threw his head back, whimpering helplessly as he came apart on Clarke’s hand.

Bellamy couldn’t remember the last time something like this had happened. He wasn’t a stranger to sex, of course. But his sex life sort of came to a screaming halt when he became completely responsible for his little sister. It wasn’t like he could go out to parties and hook up with Roma anymore. More importantly, even if he could, he was usually too tired to. He had a few nights in the past few years where Octavia was at a sleepover and he didn’t just get off a double shift, and that usually led to some form of relatively anonymous sex that he usually regretted in the morning.

But nothing he had ever experienced compared to having Clarke, the girl he had always longed for but could never really have, look him in the eyes and say that she wants to take care of him too as she wrapped her hand around his cock.

“Was that okay?” he heard Clarke ask as he started to come down from his high, and he couldn’t yet speak coherently so he just nodded frantically.

He opened his eyes again, watching Clarke lie back down next to him. He pulled her into him, wrapping his arm around her so that she would rest her head on his chest. “Thank you,” he whispered as she got comfortable. He wanted to say more, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what this meant to Clarke. She had only just broken up with Finn, who she loved, and she had implied that she had been lonely. This could have just been a moment of comfort for her, one that she would have had with anyone she felt comfortable with, not specifically him. “I feel like we should talk about this,” he said against his better judgement. If she affirmed his fears, it would rip his heart into two… but he also needed to know.

Clarke shifted against him, popping her head up with wide eyes. “Did I do something wrong?” she asked.

“No, that’s not it,” he reassured quickly, and she let out a breath. He ran his hand up her back toward her neck, letting his fingers trail gently over the fabric of her shirt. “Everything is okay. More than okay,” he stuttered out like some kind of nervous fifteen-year-old. God, there was a point in time where he was considered smooth with girls and had an easy time flirting with them, but one look from Clarke Griffin turned him into a stuttering, nervous wreck.

“Then, what is there to talk about?” she asked, and he wanted to ask her what this meant to her. He wanted to ask what _he_ meant to her.

But more than anything, he was scared of her answer, regardless of what it was. “I don’t know,” he mumbled like a coward. Clarke looked at him with a question in her eyes, but she didn’t say anything either. At least he wasn’t alone in this. “Hey, let’s just get some sleep. We need to get up early tomorrow,” he said, pulling her back down against his chest.

She could probably hear his heart nervously pounding. He absently ran his fingers through her hair, staring at the roof of his car as he tried to relax again. The two of them lied awake like that for probably half an hour before he finally heard Clarke’s breathing even out. He looked down, finally stealing a glance at her. Selfishly, he let his fingers trace lightly over her cheeks, watching her for a bit longer before he finally fell back asleep.


	2. You Had Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad y'all liked the first chapter. Honestly, there might end up being more than three chapters, but I'm not sure yet. Anyway, don't expect another update for a while. I'm going out of town in a few days and might not having writing time while I'm gone. But I made this chapter super long to tide you over until I get back. Thanks for all the support so far! Enjoy these two hot messes being really bad at feelings and communication.

“So, you’re going all this way to see Wells, huh?” Bellamy asked as Clarke passed him the syrup. He was having a hard time looking up at her, not with her moans from last night still echoing in his ears.

“Yeah,” she said noncommittedly, and he raised an eyebrow. “I mean, that’s what I told my mom.”

“What does that mean?” he asked. “I thought you liked Wells,” he said, choking on that word as he said it. He knew for a fact that Wells liked her as more than just his best friend, no matter what that kid said. And it would make sense for Clarke to like him too. He was a nice guy, exactly the kind of guy her mother would approve of. And Bellamy really didn’t have a reasonable objection to him, other than the obvious jealous one.

“Not like that,” Clarke groaned, picking up on his implication immediately. “You really think last night would have happened if I was driving all this way to be _with_ Wells?”

Bellamy snapped his mouth shut at that, ducking his head to poke at his pancake with a fork. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He didn’t have a good excuse, honestly. He just assumed that Clarke would regret last night, that she never would have wanted that to happen under normal circumstances. “I’m an idiot.”

“Not arguing with you there,” she smirked as she sipped her coffee, and a blush crept to Bellamy’s cheeks. “I haven’t told anyone but Wells this, but I’m deferring for a year.”

“What?” he choked out, eyes widening up at her. “Why?”

“Because I realized that my entire life was mapped out and it wasn’t even a life I wanted,” she replied. “I don’t want to be a pre-med student at Arkadian in the fall.”

“Since when? One of the first things I learned about you was that you wanted to be a doctor,” he argued, and her lips twitched as she took another sip of coffee.

“So, you know how I volunteer at the hospital every summer?” she asked, and he nodded along. “I was supposed to start back there a few weeks ago,” she explained. She always started right after the school year ended, so this would have been the week after her graduation, the last time he saw her before this trip. “I was barely there for a half hour before I started having a panic attack. I just… I can’t be in hospitals anymore, not after—”

“Your dad,” he realized, and Clarke winced at his words.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “And I just started looking around at my life, and I didn’t recognize it. My dad was gone, my mom threw herself into work and I hardly ever saw her, my boyfriend cheated on me, Wells had moved across the country, and then Octavia…”

Clarke cut herself off when she remembered who she was talking to, and Bellamy nodded in response. “It’s okay,” he reassured.

“Uh, anyway,” Clarke tried to shake off the awkwardness, and Bellamy found himself reaching across the table to grab her hand. “Arkadia just didn’t feel like home anymore. I didn’t want the same things. I just needed to get away. So, I’m deferring for a year while I figure it all out.”

“But why go all this way? You could figure things out anywhere,” he said as she tapped the mug.

“Wells is basically family, and he’s already got a two-bedroom apartment that he needs a roommate for. I’d rather figure things out with him than be all alone in Arkadia.”

“You aren’t all alone in Arkadia,” Bellamy argued, and Clarke snapped her head up to look at him.

“After you left, who would I have had in Arkadia?” she asked simply. He furrowed his eyebrows as he thought this over. Her mother didn’t count, not with the way the two of them fought. Octavia and Clarke hadn’t been close since Octavia started seeing Lincoln. Jasper and Monty were Finn’s friends. The more people Bellamy started crossing off the list, the guiltier he felt about not making more of an effort with Clarke these last few months. “Oh, we should probably get going,” Clarke said as she looked down at her watch.

 

* * *

 

Bellamy looked down at his phone, but it didn’t tell him why traffic had come to a complete standstill. He let out a groan before slamming his head back against the headrest in frustration. “What’s going on?” Clarke mumbled sleepily, waking up from her short nap.

“Traffic,” he huffed before turning his head to look at her. She was stretching out with a yawn, pushing her chest out as she did. He didn’t let his eyes linger at the sight, instead he jerked his eyes back toward the road despite the fact that no one was moving just yet.

Looking away didn’t stop him from remembering last night or how nice it felt to let his hands slide over her full breasts. It was hard not to get carried away with that memory, especially since it was _Clarke_ … but he needed to remember what is really was: two lonely people getting each other off in the dark.

When he looked back over at Clarke, she was pulling her hair up into a messy bun. His eyes dropped to her exposed neck, remembering how he panted praises into her skin as his fingers dove in and out of her tight cunt. Once her hair was tied up, her fingers drifted down her neck, rubbing small circles into her pale skin, likely because she was sore from how she was sleeping. He was transfixed by the sight, watching her dainty fingers glide against the soft skin that he desperately wanted to touch.

He remembered the check the road again and was almost relieved that no one had moved. He leaned back in his seat, turning to look at Clarke just in time for a quiet gasp to escape her beautiful lips. His eyes fluttered shut at the sound, letting it echo in his ears for a few minutes as he remembered how she made the same little noise when his hand first slid under her shirt.

“You okay?” Clarke asked, and he snapped his eyes back open to find her staring at him with wide and confused eyes.

“Yeah, just tired,” he mumbled as he turned to face forward again.

“We could switch off, if you want,” she suggested, but he waved her off. It wasn’t like he would be able to sleep with her just a foot away from him.

She faced forward again with a huff, probably a bit annoyed that he was being “difficult” or whatever. Bellamy made it his mission to keep his eyes locked on the car in front of him. But that didn’t stop his mind from trying to drag him back to last night, to the way Clarke bit down on her bottom lip as she wrapped her hand around his cock the first time.

Despite keeping his eyes facing forward, he could still see Clarke out of the corner of his eye. He could make out the way her chest rose and fell. He could see her exposed neck, though she was now looking out the window. Ignoring his better instincts, he let himself steal another glance at her, which was such a horrible mistake. He knew last night was probably just a one-time thing. There was a reason the two of them never got together back home. She went for guys with futures like Finn Collins or Wells Jaha, not drop outs like Bellamy. Last night was just the two of them making each other feel good, and even if it happened again, it wouldn’t be anything more than that.

Bellamy swallowed as he put the car in park, figuring he wasn’t going to move any time soon. When he looked back at Clarke, she was looking at him too. “You sure you’re okay?” she asked, and he nodded, afraid of how breathless he would sound if he tried to speak right now. She bit down on her lip, and Bellamy couldn’t take his eyes off her lips as she did that. He wondered if she would let him bite her bottom lip if he ever got to kiss her… or if she would take his lip between her teeth.

Clarke must have somehow known what he was thinking. Her eyes widened at him, the same way they did when she first felt his erection grind against her. He was worried she was going to say something, but instead, she leaned back against her seat, arching her back a bit to show off her heavy breasts. His eyes darted back to the road quickly, making sure no one was moving yet, before letting his hand rest on her bare thigh.

Her skin was so soft beneath his calloused hand. He gave her leg a small squeeze, and Clarke let out a contented sigh. He slid his hand a bit higher, flickering his eyes up to Clarke to see if she objected. Her eyes were fixed on his hand, biting her lip excitedly as he slid it a bit higher.

She spread her legs a bit as her breathing became more ragged. Bellamy checked the road again before letting his hand cup her cunt possessively. “Fuck,” Clarke whispered shakily, a sound that went straight to his cock. Her eyes had fluttered shut as she slowly grinded herself against his hand, desperate for friction.

He removed his hand for a moment, and her eyes snapped open again. “Open your mouth for me,” he murmured, and confusion darted across her eyes. He knew that she and Finn hadn’t really done _much_. As much as he tried not to eavesdrop, it was hard not to overhear things when it was all Clarke and Octavia talked about during the sleepover the night after Clarke lost her virginity. Her first time with Finn seemed to have little foreplay, which led to it being such an uncomfortable experience for her. And Clarke had already told Bellamy that last night was the first time she ever had an orgasm, so he knew that everything he was doing with her was new, exciting, and probably a bit scary for her.

But despite that, she did as he asked, parting her lips beautifully for him. He slid two fingers across her bottom lip, before slowly sliding them into her mouth. Her lips closed around them, letting her tongue trace them for a moment before sucking them. Bellamy clenched his eyes shut at the feeling, struggling to breathe as his cock sprang to attention. A quiet whimper escaped his lips as he imagined what these lips would feel like around his cock. “Princess,” he sighed as he tried to regain control of the situation, and she batted her eyes innocently at him as her tongue continued to assault his fingers. “That’s good. Get them nice and wet for me, baby,” he murmured, and he could feel her suck in a breath at his words. After a few more moments, he pulled his fingers from her mouth, watching the parted lips seemed to mourn the loss of his fingers.

He didn’t waste any time slipping his hand into the waistband of her athletic shorts. She parted her legs even wider for him as he pushed her panties to the side and trailed his wet fingers over her damp slit. As much as he wanted to watch her, he kept his eyes facing forward. The last thing he needed was for traffic to pick up while he was too distracted by being knuckles deep inside of her. The least he could do was watch the road.

He listens attentively to the desperate whimpers falling off her lips as he traces her folds. She was squirming against his hand now, eager for the friction. “Want me to make you feel good like I did last night?” he asked, and he could see her nodding frantically out of the corner of his eye. “Say it,” he demanded.

“Yes, please,” she whispered breathlessly, and he slid one finger inside of her, clenching his eyes shut as he felt just how tight she was around him. He slowed his movements a bit, giving her time to adjust. When she was ready, he slid the second finger into her cunt, sneaking a glance to watch the way her lips parted breathlessly in response.

“So good,” he murmured sweetly. “You take my fingers so good, princess.” He rocked his fingers in and out of her, thankful that he didn’t have the radio on so that nothing covered up the gorgeous sound of her ragged breathing.

The palm of his hand hovered over her clit, teasing her with only brief touches of what she desperately wanted. Finally, he let his thumb stroke her clit, which her body cried out in relief for. He stole another glance at her, his eyes lingering on her breasts as she arched her back. His eyes trailed up her neck, longing to get his lips on that beautiful throat of hers. He could make her feel good in so many ways. And as she bucks wildly against his hand, quickly falling apart for him, he mentally started listing off all the ways he wanted to make her feel good. He wanted to kiss every inch of her. He wanted to worship that cunt of hers with his tongue. He wanted to take the time to ravage those breasts of hers. He wanted to suck and bite at her throat and jawline, feeling her desperate breathing as he did. He wanted to kiss her…

He kept thrusting his fingers into her, letting her ride out her orgasm, but his eyes stayed on her parted lips. What he really wanted was to kiss those lips, to feel her sighs and whimpers echo in his mouth.

“Bell,” she said a bit urgently, which snapped him out of his trance. He had no idea how long he had just been sitting there, staring at her lips. But when his eyes followed where she was pointing, he saw that cars were starting to move again.

“Oh, fuck,” he said as he readjusted himself. He pulled the car out of park. Clarke was adjusting herself too, still recovering from her orgasm. He stole another look at her, savoring the blush covering her cheeks.

His cock was still aching for attention, but he couldn’t exactly do anything about it while driving. “Oh,” he heard Clarke say, and he didn’t have to look at her to know exactly what she noticed. He was about to offer some dismissal about it when he felt her hand rest over the bulge in his pants. His hips betrayed his mind as he thrust up into her hand, biting down a moan as he did. “Clarke, I’m driving,” he warned.

“At five miles an hour and you’ll probably be in parked traffic again soon,” she said as she leaned a bit closer to him, already undoing the button at the top of his jeans. He should object. That would be the responsible thing to do. But he nearly cried out in relief when she unzipped his jeans, and he couldn’t help but lift his hips to pull down his pants a bit.

Clarke’s small hand wrapped around his cock, squeezing over the fabric of his boxers. He could feel her looking up at him while he was letting another car over into his lane. If he had looked down at her, he probably would have had some warning for when she freed his cock from his boxers. But instead, he had no idea that was what she was doing, and an involuntary _fuck_ was dragged from his lips.

He looked down just in time to see Clarke lick the palm of her hand before wrapping it around him. His eyes frantically darted back to the road, knowing that if he watched her for a moment longer, he would fall apart too quickly. Then, just like Clarke predicted, traffic came to a halt again. Clarke popped her head up in a confusion before she glanced around at the cars surrounding them. Then, without missing a beat, Clarke unclicked her seatbelt. “What are you doing?” he asked as he put the car back in park, eyes widening as she leaned over toward him, her face just inches away from his cock as she stroked him. Her eyes flashed up to him, almost innocently, and he realized what she was about to do. “You ever done this before?” he asked.

“No,” she confessed, and he could feel his cock twitch in her hand at her confession. His cock would be the first one between those beautiful lips of hers. “You’ll help me, right?” she asked, batting her eyelashes up at him. He bit down on his lip as he nodded, unable to look away as she pressed a chaste little kiss to the head of his cock.

“You don’t have to,” he remembered to say, wanting to make sure she didn’t feel pressured into this.

Her blue eyes widened up at him, but her hand stayed firmly on his cock. “Do you not want me to?” she asked.

“Oh, I want you to,” he blurted out, and he swears relief washed over Clarke’s face at that reassurance. He ran his fingers over her jawline, letting his thumb glide over her lips. “I just wanted to make sure you want to,” he explained.

Her hand started sliding up and down his shaft again, and he glanced up at the road again to make sure no one had started moving yet. When he looked back down, Clarke wrapped her pretty lips around his cock. Her mouth was hot and wet around his cock, and his hand rested behind her neck, gently guiding her down his cock. Her tongue dances across the head of his cock as she pulls back, earning a quiet moan from him. “So good, baby. So perfect,” he murmurs, letting his hand slide up toward her hair. He carefully gets her hair out of the bun since he knew he was going to mess it up by running his fingers through her messy curls. Her eyes flicker up to him, wide and innocent as her tongue laps at the precum. He put her hair tie in the cupholder before running his hand through her hair, and she moaned around his cock as he did that. “You like it when I pull your hair a bit?” he smirked, and she moaned again around him. “Fuck.”

She only needed a little bit of guidance as she took him in her mouth. For the most part, though, everything she did felt perfect. His cock hit the back of her throat and he could feel her gagging a bit around him. “You’re okay, princess,” he reassured as he ran his fingers down her jawline. “You’re doing so good for me, baby.” She pulled her mouth off him with a pop, taking a moment before she got back to it.

He kept talking to her, though his words were getting incoherent and even he wasn’t sure what exactly he was saying to her. But she was humming around his cock in response anyway, seeming to love his incoherent grunting and begging as she took such damn good care of his cock. “Princess, please,” he finally managed to say, feeling his balls tighten, desperate for a release.

Her hand was rapidly stroking up and down his cock as she pulls her lips off him, looking up at him with those wide eyes of hers. “You gonna come for me, Bell?” she asked innocently, as if she wasn’t just moaning around his cock moments ago.

“Yeah, baby,” he stuttered out, and she lowered her head slowly, her tongue teasing the head of his cock. “Princess,” he whined, and she took him in her mouth again, hollowing her cheeks as she took him. “Fuck, fuck,” he whimpered, feeling himself start to fall apart in her mouth.

His eyes fluttered shut as the pleasure washed over him, gripping onto Clarke’s hair desperately. “Too good,” he murmured. It felt too good, too perfect. He was never going to get over how perfect her lips felt around him… he was never going to stop craving it.

When he finally opened his eyes, traffic was still stopped and Clarke was sitting upright again, wiping his cum off her lips, which would have made his cock twitch if he wasn’t already spent. “Did I do okay?” she asked with a smug grin, because of course, she knew just how good she made him feel.

“Yeah, princess,” he said breathlessly. After a few beats, he remembered to tuck himself back into his pants. When he got the top button fastened, the cars started moving again. He put the car back in drive, and Clarke made herself comfortable in the passenger seat. “Get that seatbelt back on,” he reminded sternly, and a small giggle escaped Clarke… which brought the smile back to Bellamy’s lips.

 

* * *

 

Bellamy woke to the sound of Clarke laughing. He opened one eye, seeing her giggling at the wheel. It was pouring rain again outside, but her cheery expression didn’t match the horrendous weather surrounding them. “It’s not funny,” he heard Wells whine over the speaker, and with a sigh, Bellamy turned to his other side. It had taken him forever to finally relax enough to go to sleep, and he desperately needed more sleep if he was going to take the wheel again tonight. “I’m being serious.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Clarke chuckled quietly. “I know you’re being serious, but if I had to pick one of my friends to go beat up Finn, you wouldn’t be my first pick.”

“How could you say that? We took karate together,” Wells huffed, and Bellamy accidentally snorted. Clarke leaned over to hit his arm, subtly trying to remind him to behave.

“Okay, if I decide that someone needs to fight Finn, I’ll let you do it,” Clarke muttered.

“Thank you,” he groaned. Bellamy reached behind him to grab his pillow. “Still don’t know why you even started dating that prick.” Bellamy had wondered the same thing, though he kept his mouth shut as he got comfortable again. “Or why you didn’t go through with breaking up with him months ago.” Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows at that but still didn’t speak.

“Stop,” Clarke warned.

“I’m just saying,” Wells continued, and Clarke let out an annoyed groan. “Fuck, my battery is about to die. Text me when you guys stop for the night.”

“Okay, bye,” she replied before hanging up. “Sorry I woke you up,” Clarke said, and Bellamy turned to look over at her.

“It’s fine,” he murmured. “Is it true that you were going to break up with Finn a while ago?” She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed that he had overheard. But if she didn’t want him to overhear, she shouldn’t have had the phone on speaker when he was right next to her.

“Doesn’t really matter now. The end result was the same,” she mumbled.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she blew him off, and Bellamy sat upright. “Look, it was a crazy time. I was going to break up with him, and then my dad died. And Finn was the only person I had in Arkadia to lean on.”

“You had me,” he said without thinking, and her lips twitched.

“Did I?” she asked. “Look, I don’t hold it against you. Your life was insane, and you were there for me when it happened. But you weren’t exactly the person I could call every time I had a breakdown.”

“Clarke, I would have answered every damn time,” he snapped. It wasn’t like she tried to call him. She didn’t give him the chance to be there for her.

“I didn’t know that,” she whispered, keeping her eyes fixed on the road. “I mean, it wasn’t like you leaned on me when things got rough for you. You pushed me away, just like you did with everyone else.” He bit down on his lip, looking at his hands in his lap. “But Finn… he wasn’t ever the person I needed, but I knew that he would be there.”

When he looked up at Clarke again, she was pressing her lips into a harsh line and narrowing her eyes at the road. How could she not know that he would drop everything if she needed him? How could he have let her think this way for so long? “Pull off at this exit,” he whispered.

“I can keep driving,” she argued.

“Please,” he groaned, and she switched lanes with a scowl on her face. “Look, I know I haven’t been the most reliable person in your life lately, but I would always be there for you. Remember, I was there when he died. I would have kept being there for you if you wanted me there.”

“I wanted you there,” she snapped.

“Then, why didn’t you just ask me to be there more? You have never hesitated to call me out when I was screwing up with Octavia or when I did something else to upset you,” he groaned, throwing his head back. Her jaw ticked as she turned into a gas station parking lot, whipping harshly into a parking spot.

“If I asked you to be there, I would just be delaying when you inevitably pulled away from me again,” she snapped as she threw the car into park. “You were the only person there who understood what was going on, the only one who managed to make me feel like myself again, and every second you were there, I was just counting down the seconds before you left me behind again.”

“Clarke,” he whispered, shaking his head as his jaw tensed.

“I know you think I’m an idiot for staying with Finn as long as I did.”

“I never said—”

“And I know that you said he wasn’t good enough for me,” she interrupted.

“He wasn’t,” he snapped, and she whipped her head around to glare right at him.

“But it wasn’t like I ever had another option,” she said pointedly, and his eyes widened in confusion. “I knew he would be there because he didn’t have one foot out the door.”

“No, he had another girlfriend,” he pointed out, and immediately regretted it by the way Clarke’s eyes faltered. “Look,” he sighed, undoing his seatbelt so he could turn fully to face her, “he wasn’t good enough for you. He didn’t care about you the way that you deserve to be cared about. You deserved so much more than Finn Collins.”

“And who,” Clarke started, leaning toward Bellamy with furrowed eyebrows, “do you think would have cared about me the way I deserved to be cared about?” she asked before raising an eyebrow at him, and Bellamy bit down on his lip. Clarke wasn’t dancing around the issue of his feelings for her… no, she came right at him because she _knew_ … not that Bellamy ever did a spectacular job of hiding it. “Because I knew someone who would have, and I waited and waited for him to come back to me… and he never did.” The accusatory look in her eyes were gone, replaced with some thing far sadder. “And when he did show up again, he wouldn’t stay for long.”

“Clarke,” he pleaded, but he didn’t know what to say to her… not after she threw all that at him. She knew. Maybe she had always known, or at least hoped. But she knew, and she had waited for him… and he fucked up. “I didn’t know,” he finally whispered.

“You didn’t know,” she repeated with a question in her voice, and he shook his head at her.

“If I had known—”

“Stop,” she sighed, leaning away from him. Bellamy reached out and grabbed her hand. “Look, let’s just drop it,” she groaned.

“No.”

“We’re both running off and starting over. It’s not like this even matters any—”

Before Clarke could even finish her ridiculous sentence, Bellamy leaned onto her side of the car and pressed his lips hard against hers. He didn’t think, he didn’t breathe… he just gripped her face between his hands as his lips seared into hers. “It matters to me,” he whispered when he finally pulled away to breathe, and her eyes widened back at him, her lips parted in shock. “I wouldn’t have kept you waiting if I had known, and you need to know that,” he said sternly.

Clarke’s eyes darted up to meet his, her lips just an inch from his. “Bell—”

She was cut off by the loud alarm noises coming from both their phones. Bellamy got to his first, seeing the tornado warning flash across his screen. “Fuck,” he mumbled.

“We can’t drive in this,” Clarke said, and he was already looking through to see how long they would have to wait until it would be safe for them to get back in the car. “It’s going to be bad for most of tonight. We have to find somewhere to stay.” Before he could even think about arguing, Clarke already was pulling up nearby hotels on her phone before putting the car back in drive.

 

* * *

 

Since he let Clarke take the first shower, the entire bathroom smelled like her shampoo by the time it was his turn. He took the scent in as he stepped into the shower, his mind drifting back to how perfectly he could smell this same scent when his face was buried in her neck as he plunged his fingers in and out of her. “Fuck,” he murmured to himself as his cock stirred.

He had to be careful about how he thought about Clarke. Hell, she could just give him a look and he’d probably become hungry and wanting all over again. The few moments he had gotten to touch her were never going to be enough for him. And now he had a brief taste of what her lips felt like against his… and he ached to kiss her again, though he had no idea if she would want him to.

He pressed his back against the shower wall, taking a few deep breaths. The cracks of thunder coming from outside momentarily distracted him, and he was relieved that they had given in and gotten a hotel room for the night. If anything, they would get a better night’s sleep on an actual bed.

He finished his shower quickly before brushing his teeth. The light was off in the room, which Bellamy thought meant Clarke went to sleep already. He let out a disappointed sigh as he finished getting ready for bed, but he figured it was for the best. The last twenty-four hours had been a little crazy, and she needed the sleep. They didn’t really finish their conversation earlier, and he had no idea where they even stood after that kiss. It was probably better left for the morning, anyway.

Bellamy didn’t bother throwing his shirt back on as he walked back to the other bed. He was pulling the comforter down, about to climb in, when he heard Clarke whisper, “You’re really going to sleep all the way over there?”

A smirk formed on his lips as he turned back to look at her. She had slid over on her twin bed, patting beside her for him to come join her. “You aren’t tired of me yet, princess?” he teased.

“Not yet. I’ll push you out of the bed when I do get tired of you though,” she smirked, and Bellamy lunged toward her as he plopped onto the bed, grabbing her by the waist. Clarke’s giggles erupted into a quiet squeal, and Bellamy quickly put his hand over his mouth as he chuckled.

“You’re going to wake up everyone here,” he whispered through his laughter as Clarke giggled against his hand. When he removed his hand, she hid her blush into her pillow, her giggling just quietly enough for only Bellamy to hear. God, he loved seeing and hearing her laugh. Her entire face lit up when she did, like she didn’t have a care in the world. It was beautiful, one of those things that couldn’t help but bring him peace when he got to witness it.

Slowly, she peeled herself from the pillow, her cheeks still pink from blushing. He adjusted so that he was lying on his side, facing her, his eyes not leaving hers as she blinked up at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked with a hint of a smile on her lips.

“Like what?” he asked, and his eyes fell down to her lips as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. He realized he was staring when Clarke shifted beside him, sliding a bit closer to him.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “Like…” she trailed off, her brows furrowed as she tried to explain it. She didn’t have to find the words, though. Besides, Bellamy knew exactly how he was looking at her. Like he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Like he had always wanted her. Like he was in love with her.

Another crack of thunder ripped through the sky outside, and Clarke flinched at the noise. Bellamy pulled her into his chest, lying back on his back as she curled up against him. He trailed his hand up and down her back, and Clarke’s hand rested right by her head on his chest, lazily trailing over his collarbone. The bare skin she was touching felt like it was on fire, and his heartbeat was picking up with every moment she touched him like this. “Bellamy,” she whispered, and he looked down to see her peering up at him with those wide, blue eyes of hers.

“Yeah?” he asked, letting his hand trail up to the back of her neck. She opened her mouth to reply, furrowing her eyebrows as she did, but eventually shut her mouth again without a word. His hand worked its way through her damp hair, cradling the back of her head. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

“No,” she whispered, and her eyes flickered down to his lips. She quickly snapped her eyes back up to meet his, a blush creeping on her cheeks when she realized he saw that.

“Clarke,” he said, and he could feel her fingertips explore his neck.

“Kiss me.” His dark eyes widened as he gazed back at her, his mind going blank for a moment. It took him a beat too long to realize what she just asked him to do, and her face started to falter. He tilted his head down as he slid his hand under her chin. Her eyes were wide as she peered up at him, her lips slightly parted. This wasn’t like the last time he kissed Clarke. He wasn’t thinking before, he just did it. But the world had finally slowed down enough for him to think this kiss through, and his nerves were starting to kick in.

He took a deep breath before closing the distance between them. He kept his eyes open long enough to see how Clarke’s fluttered shut when his lips first grazed hers. The first kiss was soft, tentative, nervous… like two teenagers learning to kiss for the first time. Everything involving Clarke made Bellamy feel that way.

Her hand slid up to the back of his neck, gently pulling him closer as their lips brushed against each other again. “Clarke,” he breathed against her lips, and she pressed herself tighter against him. He could feel her shallow breathing as their mouths collided again. He tightened his grip around her, trying to keep her body as close to his as possible.

She was practically on top of him when her tongue dove into his mouth, sending a shiver throughout his body. Her fingers wove their way through his curls, a sensation that had him whimpering in her mouth. When she pulled away, Bellamy was out of breath, panting as he silently begged her to come back. She fell back onto her side, looking up at him with the softest little smile. “Come here,” she whispered, her hand already back on the back of his neck to guide him back to where he belonged.

He kissed the corner of her mouth, and Clarke giggled quietly. He gently nudged her onto her back as he kissed toward her jawline. “Bell,” Clarke whined. But he quickly felt her clutching at him as soon as his lips found her throat.

He kissed and sucked his way up and down her neck, feeling Clarke’s moans vibrate against his lips as they escaped her throat. She tilted her head back, exposing more of her throat to him. “You like this, princess?” he whispered against her skin.

“Yeah,” she panted, and he smirked into her skin. He pressed another slow, open-mouthed kiss below her jaw before popping his head up to look at her. Her pupils were blown as she looked back at him, her hair a complete mess, her lips dark red and bruised.

He leaned forward, kissing right below her ear. His hand slid down her waist, finding the small sliver of exposed skin below her shirt. “This okay?” he whispered into her ear as his hand slipped up just an inch.

“Yes,” she said, her voice higher than normal. He kissed behind her ear, and the smell of Clarke’s shampoo overwhelmed his senses. He sighed happily against her skin as his hand trailed higher. When his hand finally grazed against her breast, Clarke’s breath caught. He kept a torturously slow pace as he moved to cup her entire breast, savoring each little gasp Clarke made in response.

“Perfect,” he murmured right into her ear as he gently squeezed. “So perfect. Fuck, I want to see you.”

“Hold on,” she said, and he could feel her shifting beneath him. He opened his eyes as she nudged him off her, about to ask what she’s doing, but his jaw went slack the second he saw her pull her shirt off over her head.

He stayed frozen like that as Clarke laid back down, his eyes raking over her half-naked form. His hand trailed up her soft stomach before brushing against her hardening pink nipple. Clarke took in a sharp intake of breath, and Bellamy looked up to meet her eyes. She was watching him closely, and a small smile took over Bellamy’s face. “You are so beautiful,” he said, and she ducked her head down. “Look at me,” he asked, and her head snapped back up. “You know that, right?”

Clarke opened her mouth to say something when a phone started ringing. Bellamy dropped his head with a groan. “Don’t answer that,” he begged.

“It’s not my phone,” Clarke said, and his head snapped up. No one ever called him. He carefully extricated himself from the bed, crossing over to where he had thrown his phone on his bed. Octavia’s name lit up across the screen, and his stomach dropped.

“It’s O,” he said, turning to look over at Clarke with an apology in his eyes. She waved him off, and he quickly threw on a shirt before answering the phone. “Hey, is everything okay?” he asked. Clarke clicked on the light for him so that he could find where he had left his pants.

“Yeah, where are you right now?” she asked, and he could hear some people in the background on her end.

“A small town called Mt. Weather. It’s in the middle of nowhere,” he muttered as he tugged on his jeans. “Be right back,” Bellamy mouthed to Clarke as he grabbed the room key and slipped out the door so that Clarke didn’t have to listen to whatever this call was about.

“Well, I wanted to check in since I saw all those storms in that general area. You aren’t sleeping in your car tonight, are you?” she asked, and the noise in the background got quieter, like she stepped outside too.

“No, Clarke made us check into a hotel for the night,” he said as he walked away from the door, ducking into the alcove that had the vending machines.

“Yeah, Jasper said Clarke was with you. How the fuck did that happen?” she asked.

“She’s visiting Wells and wanted a ride,” he explained.

“I bet you were all too happy to have her come along,” she snorted.

“Don’t start,” he warned, throwing his head back against the wall.

“Just think it’s funny that Lincoln is apparently too old for me when you’re not too old for Clarke,” she snapped, and Bellamy was ready to throw the “It’s not like that” back in her face like he always did, but then he remembered that he couldn’t this time. Before, Bellamy had never thought he would act on his feelings for Clarke or that Clarke would ever reciprocate them. But he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t like that now, not when he knew how her lips felt and knew what it was like to have her pressed up against him.

“Did you call me just to argue with me?” he sighed.

“No, I called to check up on you. Now I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you. You just up and decide to leave town—”

“What was keeping me in Arkadia?” he snapped. “I had pushed everyone away after Mom died because all I had the energy for was taking care of you. And then you pushed me away and I realized that I didn’t have anyone anymore.”

“I never asked you to—”

“I know,” he shouted before clenching his eyes shut. “I know,” he repeated, softer this time. “O, I can’t keep having this same fight with you. I just can’t,” he pleaded.

There was a voice in the background, asking Octavia something, and Bellamy threw his head back. “That was Monty,” Octavia said, and Bellamy sighed. She was probably at a party with Lincoln and her friends, and he felt a pang in his stomach that was dangerously similar to jealousy. Octavia had a life that he couldn’t help but be jealous of. She got to finish high school, she managed to keep her social life in tact after their mom died, she got to be normal, and she seemed happy despite being so angry with her brother. More importantly, she still fits in Arkadia, and he hadn’t in such a long time. He wasn’t sure where he fit anymore, if anywhere. “I should get back.”

“Right,” he murmured.

“Call me when you get there, okay?” she said, and he clenched his eyes shut.

“Yeah, I will. Love you, O,” he replied before swallowing.

“Love you too, big brother,” she said before hanging up, and Bellamy rested his back against the vending machine before sliding to the ground. He took a few deep breaths, reminding himself that in time Octavia will get over this.

He was too shaky to go back to the room. The last thing he needed was for Clarke to worry about him. So, he just sat there for a few minutes, listening to the storm rage on outside.

After a while, he heard footsteps coming toward him, and he knew it was Clarke checking up on him. He waited for her to say something as she rounded the corner, but instead, she sat next to him against the vending machine. He let out a sigh as she took his hand in hers before leaning her head on his shoulder. “You should be asleep,” he murmured, wondering why the hell she hadn’t just gone to bed by now.

“The storm’s too loud,” Clarke shrugged, and Bellamy rolled his eyes. Clarke could literally sleep through anything. She was worried about him. And he was grateful that she didn’t push him for what he and Octavia talked about.

The two of them sat there for a few minutes, clutching each other’s hand as they listened to the storm rage on in the background. “Come on. Let’s go to bed,” he finally sighed, pushing himself up to his feet before holding his hand out for Clarke. She took his hand and didn’t let go as they walked back toward their room, and Bellamy was grateful to have something to hold onto for once.

Clarke took her shoes off quickly before falling back into bed. Bellamy tugged his pants off before putting his phone on the charger. “Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke whispered, and he shook his head. “Okay.” He pulled his shirt over his head before climbing into the bed beside her.

“I’m sorry. I just…” he tried to say, struggling to figure out exactly what he wanted to say.

Clarke pressed a kiss to his cheek before curling into his side. “It’s okay. We’re okay,” she whispered as she finally rested her head on his chest. Bellamy snaked his arm around her, running his fingers through her hair. “Grab my phone and set the alarm for tomorrow,” she murmured sleepily.

“No, let’s just sleep in,” he sighed.

 

* * *

 

Out of habit, Bellamy woke up at six and let out a groan. Clarke sleepily shifted against him, humming quietly as she nuzzled into his neck. “Come back to sleep,” she whispered against his skin, a soft sensation that coursed through his body.

He shut his eyes again, but drifting back to sleep wasn’t easy, not when he could feel Clarke’s quiet breathing against his neck. He could feel the curve of her breasts against his side, her smooth legs entangled with his… and it became far too tempting to not go back to sleep just yet.

He kissed the top of her head first, to which she hummed in response. “Bell,” she sighed softly, her voice still groggy from sleep. “Thought you said we could sleep in.”

“I know,” he said, and he fully intended to sleep in this morning. But then he woke up, and Clarke was so soft and warm up against him… “Go back to sleep,” he decided, dropping his head back on his pillow. Then, he felt Clarke’s lips sleepily kiss his neck, and his lips parted. He expected it to be just one kiss before she drifted back to sleep, but then she kissed him a bit higher. He let out a contented sigh when her lips found his jawline. “Princess,” he warned, and when he looked down at her, she was peering up at him with those gorgeous blue eyes of hers.

With a small smile, she rested her hand on his cheek and pressed a slow kiss to his lips. Bellamy tightened his grip around her, pulling her as close as possible as he melted into her kiss. Her lips were so soft and warm against his, and he found that he couldn’t quite break away from them. His hand flew to the back of her head, feeling her soft curls between his fingers.

She broke away first, her lips lingering near his as her eyes flew open. “Bellamy,” she said, a bit too serious for his liking. “What are we doing here?”

He blinked a few times as he tried to think over his answer. He had momentarily forgotten about their argument in the car last night and all the confessions that came from it before that kiss. “I don’t know,” he confessed, and Clarke bit down on her lip. Her brows were furrowed, and he let his hand trail down to her cheek. Her eyes flickered up to his, and he wanted to tell her everything, that he loved her, that this was far more than he ever dreamed of getting with her. He would take whatever she wanted to give him, but he didn’t know what she wanted. She just broke up with Finn, her life was chaotic right now, and everything was changing for her. “What do you want?”

“You,” she blurted out, and he felt like his heart was going to pound its way out of his chest. Her eyes were searching his frantically, and Bellamy leaned his forehead against hers as the largest grin took over his lips. There wasn’t a lot he could give Clarke, but he could give her that… for as long as she wanted him.

He leaned forward, taking her lips with his as he pushed her back onto her back. She hummed against his lips as he pressed against her. “You’re what I want too,” he promised in between kisses.

“Really?” she asked, her eyes wide as she looked up at him.

“Really,” he promised again, and her eyes softened a bit. “Let me show you,” he murmured before kissing across her cheek.

“Bellamy.”

“Do you trust me?” he asked, and she nodded. He pulled off her a bit as his lips made their way down her throat, not taking as much time as he did last night. “God, you’re so perfect, Clarke,” he whispered as his hand slipped down to her stomach, hiking up her shirt a bit. He kept his eyes trained on Clarke as he pulled the comforter off her. “I’ve got you,” he promised as her eyes widened at him. He scooted down the bed a bit before pressing a kiss to the exposed skin above her shorts.

He clenched his eyes shut when he heard her beautiful gasp and pressed a few more slow kisses to her stomach. Slowly, he dug his thumbs into her shorts. His eyes flickered up to Clarke to see if she was okay, and her eyes were dark as she watched him closely, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “Lift your hips for me, princess,” he whispered, and she complied, making it easier for him to pull off her shorts. When he finally got them off and tossed them to the side, he settled himself between her legs. Clarke propped herself up on her elbows as Bellamy ran his hands up and down her thighs.

Her gasp when he pressed a kiss to the wet spot of her panties went straight to his cock. “Fuck,” he murmured before pressing another kiss to the damp fabric. The scent of her arousal drowned his senses, making is hard for him to think about anything except getting his mouth on her cunt. His hand gripped onto her thigh as he paused, trying to keep himself together so that he could take care of Clarke.

“Please,” she whispered, and that snapped him back into focus. He pulled her panties to the side, glancing at her beautiful little cunt.

“I’ve got you,” he promised before pressing a slow kiss to her folds. She shuddered at the contact from his lips, her hand reaching down to grab the hand he had on her thigh. He turned his hand over, letting her interlace her fingers with his as he ran his tongue along her slit. She squeezed his hand at the same moment a whimper escaped her throat, and Bellamy smirked as he repeated the movement. “Did Finn ever—”

“No,” she said quickly, and Bellamy rolled his eyes. He shouldn’t be surprised, but he was annoyed at fucking Collins. However, there was this possessive part of him that loved that he was the first to do this to her. And he was going to make it perfect for her.

He used his other hand to push her folds apart before his lips seized her throbbing clit. She gripped his hand tightly as he sucked onto it, her hips twitching underneath him in response. When he pressed a finger inside her, a quiet whine escaped her lips. He tried to pull his other hand from her so that he could hold her hips down, but she kept a firm grip on his hand, which brought a smile to his lips.

“Fuck, Bell,” she moaned, and he hummed against her clit in response. As his finger dove in and out of her, she began bucking against him. God, she was so responsive to his touch, and it was almost too much for him.

He pulled away for a moment, catching his breath as he lazily rubbing her clit with his thumb. Clarke’s eyes were dazed yet desperate as she watched him. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to her, and her eyes widened a bit. “Are you going to come for me, my gorgeous girl?”

Clarke swallowed, not taking her eyes from his. “Please,” was all she managed to get out, and he put a bit more pressure on her clit with his thumb.

“Of course, baby. I’d do anything for you. I just want to make you feel good, okay?” he murmured before lowering his lips again. Clarke sucked in a breath and her thumb slid up the side of his hand, an intimate gesture that made his heart skip a beat.

He thrust his tongue into her quickly, clenching his eyes shut as soon as Clarke cried out his name. God, he could listen to that over and over again. So, he chased that gorgeous sound, exploring every inch of her with his tongue. He grinded into the mattress every time she whimpered or moaned his name. He swore every time she bucked her hips against him, gripping her hand tight in his.

He wasn’t ready when she bucked against him harder, the moans slipping off her lips incoherently, and he felt her fall apart on his tongue. He pressed his hand into her hips, holding her in place as he frantically lapped at her cunt. Then, she was crying out his name over and over in such a desperate, gorgeous voice… and he never wanted to stop hearing that.

He slowed his licks as Clarke’s breathing calmed down before he switched to pressing soft kisses to her pussy. “Bellamy,” he finally heard her whisper, less strangled than before. He popped his head up to look at her, and she was beaming at him so softly.

“Was that okay?” he asked, and a small grin tugged at her lips as she nodded. He climbed up her quickly before crashing his lips onto hers. She hummed into his mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled away half a second later, still catching her breath. He just watched her, captivated by how at peace she looked right here in his arms.

 _I am so in love with you_ , he wanted to tell her. _Just seeing you smile has made me happier than I have been in so long_ , he wanted to whisper right into her ear. “Are you okay?” Clarke asked, giving him the perfect opportunity to confess every terrifying feeling he had for her.

And one day, he would tell her that her old drawings were what he looked at late at night when he couldn’t sleep those first few weeks after his mother died. He would tell her that he still thinks about that night Clarke absently kissed his cheek two years ago when he’s lying awake at night. He would tell her that her eyes are the reason blue is his favorite color. One day, he would tell her just how desperately in love with her he had been.

But he was too scared to tell her right now, so he said, “Of course,” before leaning forward to take her bottom lip between his teeth. She giggled in response before kissing him back, and he wondered how he had survived so long without having her like this.


	3. You Love Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, thanks for bearing with me. I've had a wild last two weeks and am only just now settling back at home again. Anyway, here's some feelings and smut. Enjoy.

“If I get gummy worms, would you eat a few?” Clarke asked, narrowing her eyes at the candy in the aisle.

“I thought we were grabbing something quick for _breakfast_ ,” he reminded with a smirk.

“So, that’s a no,” she groaned as she put the gummy worms back.

“How about a protein bar?” he suggested, but she was already looking at chocolate. “Clarke, we aren’t stopping again until lunch.”

“Fine,” she whined as she stomped over to the next aisle, and Bellamy followed with a chuckle. “You’re not fun,” she mumbled as she picked one up.

“Take that back,” he teased as he stepped up behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her back against him.

She tilted her head up and looked over her shoulder at him, her face scrunched up adorable. “You’re. No. Fun,” she repeated, and Bellamy had no choice but to poke her in the side that always made her squeal.

“Bellamy,” she whined as she tried to squirm away, but he kept her right there with a smirk on his lips. “Ugh, I don’t like you.” He narrowed his eyes at her, remembering all too well how he had asked her what she wanted and then she replied sweetly with a simple _you_.

“Sure, you don’t, princess,” he teased before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll be out in the car.”

He blushed a bit as he walked past a girl in the aisle right next to them, especially when she wiggled her eyebrows at him, clearly having overheard all of that. He took the pump out of the car and paid for the gas. By the time he was back in the car, Clarke was hopping in on the passenger side, handing him his coffee.

The first half hour of the drive was easy. Bellamy felt well rested since he slept in a real bed last night, and he certainly felt a bit more at ease around Clarke. He wasn’t overanalyzing everything with her anymore. He wanted her, and she wanted him, and that made everything simple again.

When he put his podcast on, he knew it was only a matter of time before Clarke got bored and fell asleep. He smirked to himself as she curled up into a ball on her seat and rested her head on the console.

When traffic slowed them down a bit, he carded his fingers through her hair. “Feels nice,” she hummed sleepily, and that happy sound made his chest feel warm. He repeated the motion, smiling as she happily sighed. He loved that sound.

“Go to sleep, princess.”

 

* * *

 

This time, there was no pretending to sleep on opposite sides of the car. No, Bellamy laid down right in the middle and Clarke curled into him. Bellamy was exhausted, probably because he did a majority of the driving today. He was more comfortable with speeding than Clarke was, and he wanted to make up for how far behind they had gotten. “Bell?” Clarke whispered, and he tilted his head down to look at her. Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him, her hand fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. “What happens when we get there?”

“What do you mean?” he asked. “You’ve got your living situation figured out with Wells, and I’ll start my new job and move in with that guy Pike said needed a new roommate.”

“I wasn’t talking about that,” she replied, her brows furrowed.

He blinked a few times as he popped his head up. “Are you talking about us?” he realized.

“I mean, the whole point of you coming out here was to start over. I didn’t want to assume—”

“Clarke,” he interrupted, his tone a bit harsher than he intended. “Clarke,” he repeated again, this time softer. She sat upright with furrowed eyebrows. “I meant it when I said you’re what I want.” Her eyes softened a bit as she looked at him, her eyes still as bright as ever even here in the dark. “You’re what I’ve always wanted.”

“Really?” she asked, her lips tugging up into a smile.

“Anyone with eyes could have told you that, princess,” he snorted, but his snark did nothing to dim the way she was beaming back at him. The sight made him feel dizzy, warm… and happy. “Come here,” he whispered, and she settled back down against him. He pulled her tight against him. He ran his fingers through her hair as she rested her head back on his chest. “We will get settled in. I’ll start my new job. Wells will get sick of me constantly stopping by to see you. You’ll figure everything out in time. And we’ll be happy. That’s what will happen when we get there.”

“What if I figure out that I want to go back? What happens then?” she whispered, and he stared at his roof as he bit down on his lip. If Clarke went back, he really would be all alone. It was what he thought he wanted when he decided to leave, but it was never what he truly wanted. He wanted to find a way to be happy back home. He wanted to reconnect with Octavia. He wanted to get his GED. He wanted Clarke. He wanted to get back to who he was before everything fell apart.

Clarke laid there in silence as she waited for his reply, and he was scared to look at her face. It wasn’t like he really believed that Clarke would permanently leave her home. She just needed time to recover. But maybe that’s what Bellamy needed too. “Would you want me to go back with you?” he asked. He could feel Clarke’s eyes on him as she adjusted against him.

“If I asked you to go back with me, would you?” she whispered, and he finally forced himself to meet her eyes. She looked scared, more scared than he had seen her in a long time. It was like she was waiting for him to say no. Did she really think he would say no? Did she think that after having all of this with her, he would be able to go back to a life without her? She didn’t know that he was in love with her. She didn’t know that he had been in love with her for so long. If she knew, she wouldn’t ask that question. She’d know that he’d go with her anywhere.

“Yes, I would,” he said, letting his hand trail up to her cheek. She bit down on her lip nervously as his thumb traced over her cheekbone.

“But what about—”

“I love you, Clarke,” he blurted out, and her eyes widened up at him. “So, yes. I would go back with you if you asked me to.”

His heart was pounding as he watched her lips part, and he would give anything to see what was going on in her thoughts. Did he cross a line? Did he move too fast? He has been in love with her for so long, but her feelings for him might not have been that strong or had existed for that long. The longer she went without speaking, the stronger his panic became.

“Say that again,” she choked out, her eyes forming a strange expression he couldn’t read.

“Clarke, I’m sorry if I—”

“Please,” she murmured, and he was terrified to say it again. It was one thing when it just spilled off his lips, but now he was thinking about it. Maybe she was giving him the chance to take it back. Maybe she wanted him to take it back.

But he couldn’t take that back. “I love you,” he repeated, his entire body feeling shaky as he spoke. That shakiness turned into a nauseous feeling as soon as he saw Clarke’s eyes water. “Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” he pleaded, gripping her face between his hands in a panic.

“I’m sorry, I…” she drifted off, not even raising her eyes to meet him as he wiped a tear from her cheek. She didn’t love him back, he realized. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. She only recently ended things with Finn, and regardless of how she had feelings for Bellamy during that time, it would be naïve of him to actually believe that she loved him at a time where he was hardly around.

“It’s okay,” he reassured, forcing a smile onto his face despite the ache in his chest. It would be okay. Just a moment ago, Clarke was professing that she wants to be with him, and that was a good sign. So, she didn’t love him… yet. He could wait.

“No, I don’t know why I’m crying…” she mumbled as she rubbed her eyes. Bellamy closed his eyes for a moment, feeling horrible that Clarke felt this guilty about not feeling the same way.

“Clarke.”

“… I just never thought I’d hear you say that.” Bellamy’s eyes jerked wide open, and his lips parted. Clarke’s eyes were tender as she looked back at him, still slightly red from crying.

“What?” he pleaded for an answer.

She opened her mouth to speak, though she seemed to struggle with words. Moments of silence passed between them as he held onto her. “I used to think about what it would be like to hear you say that,” she confessed, and he held his breath as he inched closer to her. A spark of hope still remained in his chest as he hung on her every word. “I didn’t know it would feel like this.”

“What does it feel like?” A faint smile broke through her lips, nearly knocking the wind out of Bellamy.

“Like…” she trailed off, her brows furrowed in concentration. He watched her closely as she worked out how to explain it, his heart pounding as he waited for her words. “I don’t know how to explain…” she sighed before looking back up at him, not a hint of tears in sight. “It just… I always wanted to hear you say it, and when I heard it, I just felt so much all at once. Fuck, I’m bad at explaining this,” she sighed, looking defeated. But Bellamy felt like the entire world had stopped as he caught his breath, his heart soaring at the revelation that Clarke had wanted him to say those words to her.

The determined look didn’t leave Clarke’s eyes as she kept thinking, and Bellamy just couldn’t stop looking at her. “Oh,” she said, and her eyes lit up. He raised an eyebrow, awaiting her explanation for how his words made her feel.

“What, princess?” he said teasingly, though he desperately wanted to know.

“I love you, Bellamy,” she said with a soft smile, her eyes gentle as she searched his. He froze, not quite sure if he heard her correctly. He had never really expected to hear that from her, and his hope for it had only developed in the last few days. It sounded so foreign, strange, addicting, and intoxicating. “I love you,” she repeated.

He could feel why Clarke’s first reaction was to tear up. He was stuck between his desire to beg her to keep saying it over and over and his need to crash his lips onto hers as he promised those words back to her. His body wanted to cry out in relief. He had told himself for so long that it was okay that he loved Clarke and she didn’t love him back, but that was before he heard what that confession sounded like as it fell off her lips. It was a beautiful sound that he would keep chasing, that he wanted to hear before he fell asleep at night, that he knew would echo in his dreams.

Only the feeling of Clarke’s hand resting on his neck jerked him out of his overwhelming thoughts. He locked eyes with her, feeling warm and nervous under her soft gaze. “You love me?”

“Yeah,” she whispered as she pulled him closer. His lips were hovering over hers, desperate to feel them against him. “Kiss me, Bell.” He closed the distance between them, and he felt like he could finally breathe again as soon as her lips were on his.

The two of them fell back as they clung to each other, desperate to be as close as possible as their bruised lips crashed against each other. Clarke’s fingers trailed up to his curls as she rolled onto her back, pulling him on top of her. His forearms rested on either side of her head as he kissed her frantically.

Her arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him tight against her. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, and he moaned into her mouth when she found his. As he chased her tongue, her hands trailed up his back, hiking up his shirt. He warmed when he felt her soft hands on his back, like her touch was starting small fires beneath his skin.

“Off,” she whined as she tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he smirked against her lips.

“Impatient princess,” he teased as he pulled off her. He could feel her eyes on him as he tugged off his shirt, and she immediately started pulling him back to her as soon as it was off. She tilted her head up to kiss him again, but Bellamy rested his hand below her chin, tilting her head up to her neck. He leaned down to trail his mouth down her throat.

“Bell,” she gasped as he pressed a particularly long, open-mouthed kiss halfway down her neck. He hummed in response, not removing his lips from her skin. He could hear Clarke gasp again, her hand now making its way into his curls.

He let his lips trail teasingly down to her collarbone, savoring her sharp intake of breath. He pressed a light kiss to her collarbone, his eyes flickering up to look at her as he pushed the collar of her shirt down to kiss right above her heart. Her eyes were glued on him as his lips grazed her skin, entranced in every moment of contact. “I love you,” he said, his entire body feeling lighter as he said those words. For so long, his love for her was a secret he buried deep inside himself. Everyone knew, but it was still a forbidden longing that he feared speaking of. But now it was out there. Clarke knew he loved her, and she loved him in return.

“I love you too,” she replied, and his eyes closed for a moment as he let those words ring in his ears. She loved him, and nothing could ever compare to this feeling. A grin overtook his face as he nosed the collar of her shirt a bit lower before kissing the newly exposed skin. Hesitantly, he rested his hand on her waist where her shirt had been hiked up, waiting for her to stop him. When she didn’t, his eyes flickered up to hers. He trailed his hand a bit higher, and she bit down on her lip.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, but she shook her head. When his hand reached just below the curve of her breast, she sucked in a breath. He froze as he waited again for an objection, but it never came. Instead, Clarke reached down to hike her shirt all the way up, exposing her round breasts as her shirt rested bunched up above them.

He sat up, taking in the sight for a few quiet moments. His eyes raked over the gorgeous sight of her naked chest, his hands aching to reach out and touch her. When his eyes drifted up to meet hers, she was staring back at him as she worried her lip. “I love looking at you, Clarke,” he whispered, and the nervous look in her eyes began to falter. “You’re so beautiful that I forgot how to speak for a moment there,” he smirked, and she rolled her eyes playfully. He wished he could say he was exaggerating, but he was too overwhelmed to be able to say anything adequate for those first few moments. He could see that she had a snarky remark for him, but her lips lost their tension and fell into a beautiful ‘O’ as he let both his hands slide over her breasts, cupping them gently.

A small hum escaped her lips as he leaned down to kiss right between her perfect breasts. His fingers traced the curve of both breasts as his lips lingered on her sternum. Her nipples hardened against his palms as he rested his hands over them again. He turned his head to gently kiss the side of her breast, and then he could feel himself become greedier. His kisses became dirtier as his lips traveled up to her peak, and his eyes locked with hers as his mouth hovered over her pink nipple. He didn’t break eye contact as his tongue reached out to circle her nipple, but his eyes fluttered shut as soon as he heard her quiet whimper when his hot mouth started sucking at her breast.

“Fuck, fuck,” she whispered, her hand covering his hand, pushing him to squeeze harder on her other breast. His fingers took her nipple and squeezed lightly, and Clarke threw her head back with a quiet _fuck_. He repeated the motion, this time at the exact moment he took her nipple between his lips. “Bell,” she whined breathlessly, and he let go of her nipple with a dirty pop, glancing down to see her pressing her thighs together.

Without a word, his mouth fell onto her other breast, sucking just as eagerly as before. But he paid more attention to the way she writhed beneath him, to the frantic way she tugged at his curls or clawed at his arm. “What do you need, baby?” he whispered against her breast before kissing the flesh again. Her eyes were dazed yet dark as she met his, and his heart skipped a beat at the realization that she wanted him to keep touching her like this.

“You,” she murmured, and he cocked an eyebrow.

“More specific, princess,” he teased, and she let out an impatient huff. “You want my mouth, my fingers—”

“No,” she interrupted, and he sat up a bit, confused. “Do you have a condom?”

It took him a too long to realize what she was really asking. She blinked up at him as he remembered that he did have condoms in the glove compartment, but it wasn’t until she was sitting up next to him and his eyes raked over her half naked form that he realized that she wanted to have sex with him. He was hard already from listening to her sweet moans, but his cock twitched at the idea of being with Clarke so intimately.

“Bell,” she whispered, and his eyes snapped back up to meet hers. She swallowed nervously, and he realized that his long pause to answer must have made her think that he didn’t want this.

“Yeah,” he remembered to reply. “I do.” But the anxious look in Clarke’s eyes didn’t go away. He pulled her toward him, situating her on his lap as his hands slid up her thighs. Her legs wrapped around him, and her hands rested on his shoulders. “Princess,” he whispered, and her eyes flickered up to meet his. He let his hand slide up to caress her cheek, pulling her face closer to his. His lips hovered over hers for a moment as he tried to calm his own nerves. It wasn’t until he reminded himself that Clarke was nervous too that he calmed down. “Do you want me to fuck you, Clarke?” he asked, voice low.

Clarke’s hands became firmer on his shoulders, as if to anchor herself as she quietly whispered, “Yes.” He could feel his cock twitch at that simple little word. His other arm was still snaked around her waist, and he pulled her tighter against him so that she could feel his erection bump up against the thin fabric covering her cunt. When she gasped in response, he felt her gasp fan out against his lips.

“You want my hard cock deep inside you, don’t you, my pretty girl?” he asked, his eyes glued to how she bit down on her bottom lip. His thumb traced over her lips, and her teeth let go of her bruised lip. He closed the distance between them by taking her lip between his own teeth. His kisses became gentler as he felt Clarke’s naked chest pressed up against his. “I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you whatever you want, sweetheart,” he promised between kisses.

Even though Clarke was who brought this up, he could see her nervousness in her eyes. He tried to reassure her with his kisses, silently promising that he would take care of her, that he would make this good for her. He would only be the second person she had ever been with, and he knew for a fact that Finn Collins didn’t make it good for her.

“I’ll take care of you. Such good care of you,” he murmured as his lips traveled down to her jawline.

“I know,” she whispered breathlessly as his lips sucked below her jaw. “You always take care of me, Bell. I trust you.”

“Lay back for me,” he said. His hand cradled the back of her head as he slowly got her onto her back again. Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him, her hair wild and messy, and her cheeks flushed. “I love you, Clarke,” he murmured, loving the way her gaze softened as he spoke those words.

“And I love you,” she replied, her hand reaching up to cup his jaw. He let her pull him down toward her, grinning as her arms wrapped around his neck and their lips found their way toward each other.

They kissed for a few minutes, though the kisses quickly transformed from sweet to hungry. “Patience,” he murmured as he let his hand slip down her stomach. Her lips didn’t become less desperate, especially not as his hand snaked its way into her shorts and panties before cupping her mound. He moaned into her mouth when he felt how she was soaked already. “Baby,” he whispered as he found her clit. “Why didn’t you tell me you needed me this badly?” he teased.

“I did,” she whined as she grinded into his palm.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmured as he got two of his fingers slick with her arousal. Her legs parted even wider in anticipation, and he struggled not to smirk. He locked eyes with her as he lined those two fingers at her entrance, waiting until he pushed inside her tight cunt to whisper, “I’m gonna take such good care of you.”

She was wet enough that his fingers dove in with ease, crooking just the way that always made Clarke’s head fall back. And when it did, his lips seized her gorgeous neck, sucking and pressing filthy kisses to her pulse point. Clarke didn’t hold back on her beautiful moans, and it was music to Bellamy’s ears.

“Bell, God, Bellamy,” she whimpered, and he propped his head up to see her beautiful, pleasure-filled face. He kept his eyes on her lips as he slowly pressed a third finger in, and her jaw went slack as her lips parted. She was tight around his fingers, so he slowed his movements. “Don’t stop, please,” she murmured, and he leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered right into her ear as he rocked his fingers back into her. He put more pressure against her clit as his palm pushed down, and that got her writhing underneath him. “Just let go for me, princess. I need to see you come for me.”

“Close. So close,” she whispered shakily, and he kissed just behind her ear.

“I know, I know,” he murmured breathlessly, letting his lips touch her ear as he spoke. “You’re taking my fingers so well, baby. Come on my fingers, please,” he begged. When he felt Clarke grip onto his hair, he knew he had her. She was whimpering and moaning right into his ear as she clutched onto his curls frantically, her pussy pulsing around his fingers. His mouth finally found hers as her cries slowed down, and his lips just gently caressed hers as she relaxed into him.

“I love you,” Clarke murmured against his lips, and his eyes fluttered open to see a small grin on her lips.

“I love you too,” he replied before pecking her lips again. He removed his hand from inside her shorts, locking eyes with her as he sucked one of them into his mouth. She bit down on her lip as she watched him slowly suck each of his fingers clean, and the lustful look in Clarke’s eyes as he did went straight to his cock.

“Bell.”

“Yeah?” he asked with a smirk.

“Please,” was all she managed to get out.

“Hold on,” he murmured as he awkwardly crawled up toward the console. He could hear Clarke shuffling behind him as he fumbled with the glove box. He finally found the small box of condoms and double checked the expiration date, his hands shaking a bit nervously as he pulled one out.

“Bell,” Clarke whined, and he snapped the glove box shut. When he pushed himself back, he accidentally slammed his head into the roof of his car.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, and he quickly felt Clarke’s hands at his back, pulling him toward her. “I’m fine,” he remembered to say, rubbing the top of his head. But that didn’t stop Clarke from fussing over him as she took his face between her hands. “I really am fine,” he smirked, and her eyes finally fluttered up to meet his. “Just clumsy, apparently.” And with that, Clarke started giggling as she leaned up to kiss him.

The pain dulled as he fell into her kiss, his nerves disappearing into her touch. Their giggling kisses grew heavier and needier as he found his hands clinging to her bare back as her arms wrapped around his neck. Clarke must have tugged her shirt all the way off while he was fumbling around in the glove box. He could feel her naked chest rising and falling against his as her tongue teased his. His entire body reacted as she pulled her lips back, chasing her backwards movement until he pushed her onto her back once more.

He rested his hand below her jaw, tilting her head so that he could kiss her again. He was slower this time, more deliberate and less frantic. “I love you,” Clarke murmured, and he stilled for a moment as his eyes met hers.

“I love you too,” he replied. Her golden hair was spread out on the blanket underneath her, her lips dark red and bruised, her cheeks flushed, and her blue eyes as bright as ever. He wasn’t sure she had ever been this beautiful. It was almost too much for him. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, and she bit down on her lip. “If not, that’s okay. We can stop,” he stuttered out nervously.

“I’m sure,” she stopped him before he rambled further, and he pressed his lips together. “And I’m sure about you, Bellamy.” Her eyes were determined as she looked up at him, her lips parted as she waited for him to respond. He wanted her, he knew that. But he also wanted this to be perfect, and he wasn’t sure this would be perfect.

“Maybe we should wait until we’re somewhere that isn’t the back of my car. Not exactly… special,” he mumbled, though it wasn’t the right word.

“I mean, you kissed me for the first time in this car. Our first I love you’s were in this car. I’d say it’s a pretty special car,” she giggled, and he bit down on his lip. She knew what he meant. “Bellamy, we can wait if you want to. But all I care about is that I’m with you. It’s going to be special regardless of where it happens because I love you.”

He leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, taking a deep breath. “You mean that?” he asked.

“Yeah, I do,” she smiled, and he let out a breath. “Now, what do you want to do?” She giggled as he kissed across her cheek, resting his lips just below her ear.

“I want to take care of you,” he murmured right into her ear, voice low. Once he heard her sharp intake of breath in reaction to his words, his hand traveled down her waist. He tucked his thumb into her shorts and panties, teasing her slightly. “My fingers weren’t enough for you, were they? You need more.”

She nodded weakly and he slid off her. Her eyes went wide as he sat up. She lifted her hips quickly as he began tugging her shorts and panties off together. It was less sexy than he pictured it, but the two of them giggled as he awkwardly got the last of her clothing off.

When he turned back to look at her after tossing her clothes behind him, he froze. Clarke Griffin was lying naked right in front of him, and though he had already seen her in various states of undress already, this was a sight that knocked the breath out of him.

“Bell,” Clarke whispered, but he let his eyes trail over her naked form one more time before meeting her eyes. “I want to see you too,” she smirked, and the heat went to his cheeks.

It took some shuffling for him to get out of his boxers, and he nearly hit his head again in the process. God, he wanted to smack his earlier self for not having the sense to get another hotel room tonight, saving money be damned.

But it didn’t really matter how awkward he looked as he shed his boxers, nor how nervous he got as he put the condom on, because Clarke was still grinning up at him with love in her eyes as he climbed on top of her again.

“I love you,” he whispered between kisses, letting his hard cock rub against her.

“I love you,” she murmured in response as he took his cock in his hand. He watched as he slowly pushed himself inside her. He heard her catch her breath, and his eyes flickered back up to hers.

“Relax for me, baby,” he reminded, and she nodded, her eyes wide as she watched him. He pushed a bit farther in, gritting his teeth to keep from moaning over how tight she was around him. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” she panted, but he was still searching her eyes for any sign of discomfort. “Please, don’t stop.” With that, he resumed hesitantly.

She bit down on her bottom lip, looking up at him as he slowly thrust in and out of her. The harder she bit down on that lip, the more he craved the feeling of her lips against his again. Unable to take it anymore, he braced his arms beside her head as he leaned down to kiss her. Clarke’s arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him tight against her as his tongue dove into her mouth.

Between the way Clarke commanded that kiss or how her hands urged him harder, his anxieties about Clarke being comfortable were pushed aside, and he began thrusting deeper into her, cutting off her moans with his lips.

But the sounds falling off her lips and into his mouth were so gorgeous and filthy, going straight to his cock every time. He found himself burying his face into her neck so that he could hear them fill his car. “Baby,” he managed to get out against her neck before she whimpered his name. He pulled his head up to look at her, and she looked just as wrecked as he felt. “You feel so good, Clarke. So hot and tight for me. Fuck,” he murmured as her lip quivered.

“Bell.”

“What do you need?” he asked breathlessly. She was close again, still sensitive from before.

“I… I don’t know,” she stuttered out, and he hummed against her throat as he pressed a soft kiss there, a sharp contrast to his hips slamming into her.

“Shh, I’ve got you,” he whispered as he slid his hand down her stomach. He’ll make her fall apart one more time before he lets go.

When his thumb grazed her clit, Clarke’s nails dug into his back. He hummed his reassurance to her as he slowly added pressure to her clit. Her hand frantically made its way up into his curls as he rubbed slow circles, tugging his head back away from her neck. He was about to groan in protest, but her lips stopped him.

Her kisses were messy and hot as she whimpered into his mouth and pulled at his curls. He sped up his fingers and thrusts, because with Clarke like this, there was no way Bellamy could hold off much longer. It had been so long since he had been with anyone like this. That plus the fact that he was having sex with Clarke… it was too much for him to be able to make this last.

“Please,” he found himself pleading against her lips. He needed to feel her fall apart on his cock. He needed to hear how she cried out in pleasure. He was starving for it.

It took a few more flicks of his thumb before he felt her clenching around his cock. She tried to throw her head back, but he kept his lips firm against hers so that she couldn’t. He wanted to feel her crying out against his lips. He wanted to swallow her gorgeous moans and whimpers. She gasped and moaned against him, her body shuddering in pleasure beneath him. And with a final tug to his curls, Bellamy fell apart too, chasing her pleasure with his own.

He wasn’t even really kissing her anymore. His open mouth was pressed to hers as they both struggled to breathe normally. He was too lost in how her hot cunt squeezed and pulsed around him to think about much else, and Clarke didn’t seem to be doing much better.

But they kept their lips against each other’s, and as they caught their breath, they began actually kissing again. He clung her a bit tighter to him after he pulled his softened cock out of her, and she kept a firm grip on his neck as their lips bruised into each other.

It took a few minutes for Bellamy to pull his lips away. When he did, he found Clarke’s wide blue eyes staring back at him. “Hi,” he chuckled, and she giggled in response.

“Hi,” she replied with a grin, and he pushed back of piece of her hair.

He rolled onto his back, and Clarke happily took her normal spot up against him. He rested his head on top of hers once she was settled on his chest. “You’re perfect,” he murmured, and he could hear Clarke chuckle quietly. “No, you really are.”

“I love you,” she giggled, clearly not taking his words seriously. But he wasn’t too worried. He had all the time in the world to work on convincing her of that now.

“I love you too,” he whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair. She hummed in response, a happy sound that warmed his chest every time he heard it.

“You meant what you said earlier, right?” she asked after a few moments of silence. “About coming back with me if I wanted to go home?”

“Yeah,” he replied before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’d follow you anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the fic! Thanks for reading! *blows kiss*

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated. on twitter and tumblr as @asroarke, so hit me up! hope you liked the fic!


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